Chapter 1

1:2 - "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine." A fitting beginning for a pornographic poem.

* This account is about Solomon and his wife.  Verse 2 surely isn't pornographic.

1:5 - This verse says, "I am black"; 5:10 says, "My beloved is white." An interracial couple?

* This Hebrew word for "black" is better translated "dark."

* There are no black or white people.  Every person is a different shade of brown.

1:13 - "He shall lie all night betwixt my breasts." And to think the fundamentalists complain about prime time TV.

* Once again, this is an account of a husband and wife and their relationship.

Chapter 2

2:3 - "I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste." Gosh, is this a biblical description fellatio, or what?

* This Hebrew word for "fruit" doesn't insinuate sexual contact.

2:6 - "His left hand is under my head and his right hand doth embrace me." Hmm, I wonder if his left hand knows what his right hand is doing.

* This isn't a contradiction.

Chapter 3

3:4-5 - Our heroine takes her lover into her mother's bedroom and asks not to be disturbed "till he please."

* Solomon's wife takes him into her mother's bedroom and he sleeps.  She makes sure he isn't disturbed until he wishes to awaken.

Chapter 4

4:5 - "Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins." I'm not sure that I get this one. Were the breasts really big, did they jiggle around a lot, or what?

* This is simply ancient, Hebrew poetry.  Solomon is comparing her breasts to something beautiful and majestic.

Chapter 5

5:4 - "My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him." Is the "hole of the door" her clitoris and the "bowel movement" an orgasm? I hope so, or this verse is really disgusting.

* Verse 2 indicates that this is a dream.  "I sleep, but my heart is awake . . ."  According to the first four verses of this chapter, Solomon's wife is dreaming about him coming to her house.  There is no sexual innuendo in verse 4.
  
5:5-6 - "My hands dropped with myrrh, and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh, upon the handles of the lock. I opened to my beloved; but my beloved had withdrawn himself."

* This is more of her dream.  

Chapter 6

6:8 - "There are threescore queens, and fourscore concubines, and virgins without number." Oh boy!

* Yes, Solomon sinned by having numerous wives and concubines.  However, he is saying how this wife was better than the rest (read verse 9, too).

Chapter 7

7:1-3 - More filthy talk about navels, bellies, thighs, and breasts.

* This speech is poetic and not pornographic.  This is Solomon talking about his wife.  There is nothing disgusting or inappropriate about it.

7:6-8 - "How pleasant art thou, O love, for delights! ... Thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine." Sounds like Penthouse waxing poetic.

* Penthouse glorifies promiscuous sex and the exploitation of women.  They surely don't write tasteful things about a husband and wife.

7:12 - "Let us get up early to the vineyards ... there will I give thee my loves." Sounds like they're going to do it in the vinyards.

* This Hebrew word for "love(s)" doesn't imply sex.  It is better translated "a token of my love."

Chapter 8

8:3 - "His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me."

* This is an embrace; not sex.

8:8-10 - "We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts ... But my breasts [are] like towers."

* Solomon is comparing the beauty of his wife with a younger girl.