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Are you ready to test your knowledge of the scriptures? Get The Skeptic's
Annotated Bible: Corrected and Explained,
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Chapter 1 1:2-7 - God appoints Judah to succeed Joshua. The Lord delivers his foes into his hands and another 10,000 are slain. In the process, they capture Adonibezek and "cut off his thumbs and great toes." Nice guys. * The Israelite army kills a number of pagans. * Adoni-Bezek loses his thumbs and big toes. In verse 7, he says, "Seventy kings with their thumbs and big toes cut off used to gather scraps under my table; as I have done, so God has repaid me." 1:6-7 - Do angels have sex? Yes, angels love sex (especially with pretty women). * These verses do not refer to angels or sex. 1:12 - Caleb offers to give his daughter to anyone who conquers the city of Debir. Caleb's nephew wins the contest and is given his cousin for a prize.
* In ancient times, it was customary
for the father to have absolute rights over his children. This is
how and why he could promise his daughter's hand in marriage. It was
also customary for a great man to award a great fighter or king with his
daughter.
* God was judging some pagan people
who rejected Him with the Israelite army.
* This verse indicates that Judah
could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley. Incidentally,
Judah simply perceived that they could not drive out these people.
God had already given them the land and told them that they would be
victorious in battle. * Verse 21 indicates the tribe of Benjamin did not drive out the Jebusites. They decided to cohabit with them. There is no suggestion that God could not drive them out. * God repeatedly told the Israelites that He would bring these pagans to them and they should conquer them. However, the Israelites didn't always choose to conquer them. In these verses, we see that they simply charged the Canaanites taxes for living on the Israelites' land (see verse 28). Incidentally, since the Israelites charged them taxes, it is obvious that Israel owned the land (like God had promised them). |
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Chapter 2 2:12 - God gets angry when the Israelites reject him and decide to worship other Gods. * This is correct.
God did not want Israel to worship false gods.
* God didn't literally sell them.
Nobody handed God cash for the Israelites. However, since the
Israelites rejected God, He removed His hand of protection and they were
plundered and oppressed. * This is true. Since God is the one, true God, chasing after other gods is akin to whoredom. |
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Chapter 3 3:1-5 - God promised many times that he would drive out all the inhabitants of the lands they encountered. But these verses show that God failed to keep his promise since he was unable to drive out the Canaanites. * God told the Israelites that He would help them win their battles. However, the Israelites wouldn't always fight against the pagan peoples.
* God didn't give a timetable to the
Israelites. For instance, He didn't tell them that all of the pagans
would be gone in 10 years. He gave the Israelites land, promised to
deliver the pagans to them and told them that they were to conquer them.
Therefore, God upheld His part of the promise.
* God didn't literally sell them.
Nobody handed God cash for the Israelites. However, since the
Israelites rejected God, He removed His hand of protection and they were
plundered and oppressed. * God has a
multi-faceted character. He is a just God, so His character contains
peace, love, joy, wrath, justice, truth, etc.
* Ehud killed King Eglon. He
was the King of the Moabites and they were oppressing the Jews and making
them pay taxes to live on their own land. Incidentally, this was the
beginning of a war that the Israelites won and were liberated.
* This is correct. They
defeated 10,000 "stout men of valor." These were obviously, trained
soldiers. * This is correct. Shamgar used an ox goad to kill 600 Philistines. This was part of God's judgment on some pagans who rejected Him. According to the text, Shamgar helped deliver Israel. |
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Chapter 4 4:2 - God gets angry and sells the Israelites again. (He had already sold them to another king in 2:14 and 3:8 and he sells them again in 10:7.) * Verse 1 tells us that the Israelites, "did evil in the sight of the Lord." This is the cause of God's judgment. * God didn't literally sell them. Nobody handed God cash for the Israelites. However, since the Israelites rejected God, He removed His hand of protection and they were plundered and oppressed.
4:3 - "The children of Israel cried unto the LORD: for
he [Sisera, not God] had nine hundred chariots of iron." Yet just a few
verses ago (Jg.1:19) God was overpowered by chariots of iron. * Reuel, Jethro and Hobab are the same person. Moses called him by different names, though. * When Moses escaped from Pharaoh, Reuel gave him a home. He also helped Moses grow and mature for 40 years. Reul means "friend of God." * Moses cared for his sheep and they multiplied. This is why we see his father-in-law called "Jethro," next. "Jethro" means "abundance." * After some time, Moses really enjoys
his new family and desires his father-in-law's presence. Therefore, he is
called "Hobab." "Hobab" means "cherished."
* God aided the Israelites in
defeating their pagan oppressors. * Sisera was the commander of the army that was oppressing the Israelites. He was killed by Jael's tent stake. |
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Chapter 5 5:20 - Does the Bible condemn astrology? 5:24 - For murdering her guest while he slept, Jael is "blessed above women." (Hail Jael, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women....?) * Jael helped the
Israelites overcome their oppressors. Therefore, they praised her.
* This Hebrew word that was
translated "prey" in the KJV is also translated "spoil" or "booty."
This phrase of the song is talking about the spoils being given to the
women. * Judges 5:31 reads, "Thus let all Your enemies perish, O LORD! But let those who love Him be like the sun when it comes out in full strength." God's enemies will perish and the righteous will be rewarded. |
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Chapter 6 6:1-2, 5 - Did the Israelites kill every male Midian? No. * Judges 6 took place many years after Numbers 31. Therefore, these male Midianites were probably the offspring of the female virgin Midianites that were spared. 6:1-6 - Every male Midianite was killed during the time of Moses (Num.31:7), and yet just a few years later they flourish like grasshoppers "without number." * 207 years are specifically mentioned between the time of Moses and Judges 6. However, there were likely a few more years, too. This was plenty of time for the Midianites to multiply. * Incidentally, this Hebrew word that was translated "males" in the KJV also means "men." The Israelites likely killed only the Midianite men, in battle, and not the women and children. 6:34-40 - Is it ok to test (or tempt) God? Yes, you can give God the wet/dry wool test.
* In verse 34, we see the Holy
Spirit come upon Gideon and Gideon sought an answer from God.
He did not test or tempt God, though. * Gideon doubted, but God had plans for him and the Israelites, so He did some miracles. |
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Chapter 7 7:4-7 - God picks the men to fight in Gideon's army by the way they drink water. Only those that lap water with their tongues, "as a dog lappeth," shall fight.
* This is correct. Perhaps God
chose the "lappers" because lapping indicated their caution while the ones
that bowed to the water and drank displayed their carelessness.
* This is simply a simile for: "a
lot of camels."
* This is correct. God helped the
Israelites when this battle without having them fight. * This is correct. This is the historical record. |
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Chapter 8 8:7, 16 - God refusing to feed him and his army, Gideon tears the flesh off the elders of Succoth and kills the men of the city.
* The elders of Succoth refused to feed
Gideon and his army, so they were judged for it.
* Gideon's son was too young to
effectively wield a sword, so Gideon killed Zebah and Zalmunna. *
Gideon took the large amount of gold and booty and used it to make an
ephod. The children of Israel worshiped it and it became an idol to
them. Since they were supposed to be set apart for God, this was
akin to whoredom. * This is correct. Incidentally, these verses do not praise him for his multiple wives or concubine. |
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Chapter 9 9:5 - Abimelech kills 70 brothers "upon one stone." (He was trying to get in the Guinness Book of World Records.)
* Abimelech killed his brothers because
he wanted full rights to the throne. This was tragic. However,
many nations of the world have experienced similar tragedies. * This is a highly symbolic poem. These are the words of Jotham and not a command from God.
* Jotham said, "But the vine said to
them, 'Should I cease my new wine, which cheers both God and men, and go
to sway over the trees?'" In this poem, the vine is speaking!
At any rate, this isn't a command to get drunk or drink strong wine. * Evil spirits are at
God's disposal. He can use them to enact His judgment (and for a
variety of other reasons). * This is how Abimelech died. |
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Chapter 10 10:7 - God is angry at Israel so he sells them to the Philistines. He had previously sold them to the kings of Mesopotamia (3:8) and Canaan (4:2). I guess he's a pretty shrewd businessman! * God didn't literally sell them. Nobody handed God cash for the Israelites. However, since the Israelites rejected God, He removed His hand of protection and they were plundered and oppressed. |
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Chapter 11 11:21 - God smites Sihon and all his people and gives their land to Israel.
* Judges 11:21 reads, "And the LORD
God of Israel delivered Sihon and all his people into the hand of Israel,
and they defeated them. Thus Israel gained possession of all the land of
the Amorites, who inhabited that country." This verse indicates that
God delivered these people into the hands of the Israelites and they
defeated them. Incidentally, God had already given the Israelites
this land, so it belonged to them.
* This is correct. However, this
can also be translated, "So whatever the Lord our God takes possession of
before us, we will possess." This statement is repeating the promise
of God to give the inhabitants of the Israelite's land into their hands
for them to conquer. * This is correct. This is the tragic account of the foolishness of making a rash promise to God. 11:32 - How should the Ammonites be treated? Kill them and take their land. * This verse shows how Jephthah defeated the Ammonites. Jephthah was a descendant of Lot, so this perfectly correlates with Deuteronomy 2:19. God allowed the Ammonites to maintain their land for a time, so they would keep it up and prepare it for Lot's descendants to inhabit.
11:34 - Is dancing a sin? |
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Chapter 12 12:6 - 42,000 men are killed because someone mispronounces "shibboleth." * Jephthah and his men used this crafty identification system to discover whether or not these people were Ephraimites. If they couldn't pronounce "Shibboleth" correctly, then they knew these people were their lying, trespassing enemies. |
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Chapter 13 13:1 - The Israelites "did evil in thesight of
the Lord," so he "delivered them into the hand of the Philistines forty
years." 13:2-3, 6, 9 - Manoah's nameless wife, like so many biblical women, is barren. But an angel fixes that, and Samson is born.
* This is correct. God did a
miracle and Samson was born. * Samson was following the traditions of the Nazarites. This was correct for him
* Paul is speaking to men in a
different culture. For Paul's audience, it was shameful for these
men to have long hair. * Verse 9
indicates that they saw the "Angel of God." This is referring to
Jesus Christ. * Like the majority of biblical characters, the Bible records Samson's strengths and weaknesses. |
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Chapter 14 14:1-3 - Samson sees a Philistine woman and tells his parents to "get her for me; for she pleaseth me well."
* This is correct. Samson saw a
Philistine woman and wanted to marry her. Therefore, he told this to
his parents. * Samson
received supernatural strength from God. He was able to do mighty
things. * God has a multi-faceted character. He isn't one dimensional. God's character includes peace, love, justice, wrath, patience, judgment, etc. * In the Old Testament, the "spirit of the Lord" came upon people and gave them power. This was generally a temporary infilling. After Pentecost, all believers receive God's Holy Spirit and it dwells within them. |
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Chapter 15 15:2 - Samson's father-in-law gives Samson's wife away to a friend, since he thought Samson "hated" her. He suggests that Samson take his younger daughter instead, saying the younger one's prettier anyway.
* This is correct. Samson's
father-in-law gave his wife to his companion. * Samson inflicts pain on the Philistines because of his loss. Incidentally, verse 4 indicates that Samson lit the hair on the foxes' tails on fire (not their actual bodies, like this commentary implies).
* God desired for the Philistines to be
conquered by the Israelites. Therefore, Samson was an instrument of
His judgment on them. The Philistines were wicked pagans and
rejected God. They were also oppressing the Israelites. * Once again, Samson was an instrument of God's judgment. |
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Chapter 16 16:1 - "Then went Samson to Gaza, and saw there an harlot, and went in unto her." Did Samson do this because the spirit of the Lord came upon him again? Or does Samson only kill things when he is possessed by God?
* Samson's action was very
inappropriate. The scriptures surely do not indicate that his action
was ordained by God.
* Verse 2 indicates that many people
were hiding and waiting to kill Samson. Perhaps Samson removed the
city's gate and took it in order to scare them.
* God gave Samson his strength.
However, his long hair symbolized the covenant he had with God. * This is correct. Samson was a tool of God's judgment one last time. |
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Chapter 19 19:22-30 - After taking in a traveling Levite, the host offers his virgin daughter and his guest's concubine to a mob of perverts (who want to have sex with his guest). The mob refuses the daughter, but accepts the concubine and they "abuse her all night." The next morning she crawls back to the doorstep and dies. The Levite puts her dead body on an ass and takes her home. Then he chops her body up into twelve pieces and sends them to each of the twelve tribes of Israel (Parcel Post?). The story, which must be one of the most disgusting stories ever told, ends with: "consider of it, take advice, and speak your mind." Those who do consider it will immediately reject the idea that the Bible is inspired by God. Hopefully, they then will speak their mind. * This is a sad and disgusting story. However, many biblical stories are historical records and history isn't always pretty. * It was tragic that the concubine was killed. It was gross how she was mutilated. However, her death and the subsequent "delivery" caused the Israelites to realize they needed to unify, fight, and conquer the people who killed her. |
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Chapter 20 20:18, 21 - God tells the Israelites to send the tribe of Judah into battle and 22,000 men were killed by the Benjamites.
* Judah lost this battle. It is
possible that they hadn't consecrated themselves, fasted, prayed, and
prepared.
* Once again, the Israelites lost to
the Benjamites. It is possible that they hadn't consecrated
themselves, fasted, prayed, and prepared. * After they fast, pray, and consecrate themselves to God, they destroy the Benjamites for raping the concubine and refusing to hand over the rapists. |
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Chapter 21 21:7-23 - To find wives for the Benjamites (they were unwilling to use their own daughters), the other tribes attacked and killed all occupants of a city except for the young virgins. These virgins were then given to the Benjamites for wives. * The Israelites wanted to find wives for the 600 Benjamite men that fled and did not fight them. Therefore, they destroyed some people who did not help them fight against the Benjamites and their virgins were offered to the 600 Benjamites that fled. |
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