Helping San Diego, California and beyond since 1997.
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Helping San Diego, California and beyond since 1997.
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These are actual lines out of U.S. Military OERs (Officer Efficiency Report):
- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
- Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
- A room temperature IQ.
- Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
- A prime candidate for natural deselecting.
- Bright as Alaska in December.
- Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
- So dense, light bends around him.
- If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
- If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
- Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
- Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
Actual excerpts from Royal Navy and Marines officer fitness reports:
- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
- He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
- She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
- He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
From actual performance evaluations:
1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
3. "This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."
4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."
6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
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