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Helping San Diego, California and beyond since 1997.
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13. "I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But first, a few words from my husband..."
12. "Immediately after my speech, you are all cordially invited to come up here and kiss my pasty white behind."
11. "Members of Congress, I feel you're a pain."
10. "Are you impeachin' me? Are you impeachin' me? You gotta be impeachin' me cuz I'm the only President standin' here."
9. "I don't think anyone can deny that this past year has made a vas deferens in the face of politics.."
8. "Any of y'all got that Gwyneth Paltrow gal's phone number?"
7. "This meeting of The Duplicitous Serial Adulterers Group will now come to order. Ha, ha! Just kidding, people."
6. "Acquit me, or the stock market gets it."
5. "I have not had sexual relations with anyone in this chamber. But seriously, folks..."
4. "(Psssst! Al! Fourth row, third from the left -- you can see right up her skirt!)"
3. "First, I'd like to introduce my new Attorney General, Alec Baldwin."
2. "Whoa! I've been sleepwalking the last three years! I hope I didn't do anything embarrassing!"
and the Number 1 Rejected State of the Union Speech Opening Line...
1. "I'm not under oath, am I?"
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