Days 21-30

Day 21:

Hello! Today was a fun day. Lots of good stuff happened.

I enjoyed talking to Sarine! We talked on the internet. We haven't been able to talk like we usually do because I haven't been on the internet as much. I don't have cable modem until Tuesday, so I don't leave my computer online 24/7. She's sweet and cares about me. I like her a good deal, too!

I went to Price Club and Home Depot, today. I got a bunch of stuff.....like pineapple, apple and grape juices, brackets for mounting some speakers, a couple plants, purified water, etc. I potted the plants, too. They are looking good and will look great after the adjust to the transplantation and grow.

My roommates are nice. I'm glad we're getting along. I pray we maintain a good relationship. When I get my cable modem and tv, I won't be seeing them as much! I'll be spending a lot of time working and relaxing. I'm so happy with my living and job situations. Praise the Lord. I think that is a great stressor for some people - job and home life. When all is well, God seems to take me further. I'll be writing poems and songs. Taking some trips. Going to the beach. Working hard and growing spiritually.

Church was great, tonight. Miles McPhearson spoke about sexual purity. He is so awesome and he said some things that made great sense. He shined a light, on a couple issues, and let me see them from a different perspective! One is the blood covenant between a husband and a wife. When a virgin's hymen is broken, she'll bleed. God expects us to be virgins when we marry. Therefore, the blood she bleeds is a sort of covenant between the man and the woman. Christ has a blood covenant with us. He shed His blood and promised us eternal life. Interesting parallelism. We also learned some other great things.

A couple weeks ago I was strongly considering getting a cross of a tattoo on my arm. I'm not sure why the idea came to me. I think part of it has to do with Nathan's tattoo of a cross. He's in the band Luna Halo. I should post a message on the Luna forum and see if he regrets it. Tonight, I spoke to a pastor at The Rock. I had thought about him several days ago and thought he would be a great person to talk to about this. Before he was walking with God, he got a ton of tattoos. He has told everyone that he doesn't like them or want them, now. I happened to see him, so I asked him.

Pastor John Leeder was happy to speak to me. He listened a lot and asked me to follow God's prompting. He never said whether I should or shouldn't. He did say that he gave his wife a tattoo of a cross and she doesn't like it any more. That could mean a number of things, though. I like his advice. It's a tough decision. I want a big one on my left arm. It could point people to Christ and remind me of Him and His sacrifice. However, it could discourage some believers. Wouldn't they be making a superficial or unbiblical judgement of me, though? I would be getting this to glorify God. Just like when I changed my middle name to Jesus, many people discouraged me, but I've been able to use it to witness to others! I don't regret doing that at all. Praise God! I think I'm answering my own question by typing in this journal. The answer is: it's up to me. I wouldn't recommend getting a tattoo to draw attention to you or the ink. However, if God has urged you to get one, fight the fear and demons that are telling you to abstain. God will bless you and others if you take a step of faith.

If someone were to argue that it shouldn't be done because it causes the body pain, then I shouldn't have learned the guitar. I have callouses that will never leave because of my time spent playing guitars with steel strings. I'm certain that I haven't sinned by learning the guitar and praising God with it. Even though my life is devoted to God, it's wise to get advice and think things through before I do them. I'm prompted to do many things and not all of them are from God. The evil one urges me to do evil. I pray that I walk in truth and wisdom.

My room is getting warmer, but my feet are still cold. It's hard to believe how cold the floor is in this house. I guess I need to get some slippers or something. Maybe I'll get some pink, furry ones. Just kidding! I can find something cool to wear around the house. When I lived by myself, I'd turn up the heat and relax in my boxers. I told him that before I moved in. We figured we could meet somewhere in the middle. I don't want to make him feel like I'm a burden and asking too much, so I won't bother him about turning up the heat, now.

Tomorrow should be an interesting day! During the week, I'm not sure what it's like around here. At night, I'll go to my accountability group. It's probably at Dave's, but I should call and make sure. Sometimes it changes locations. Tomorrow night, I'll send the devotions. If the weather is nice, I may pray at the beach. I'm really close, now!

I had a glass of apple juice in the afternoon and I just drank a glass of grape juice. I really think I'll keep drinking this stuff after I break the fast. It's so good and good for me. I'm not sure if I'll have time for the broth, but I'll miss it. It's good stuff, too. There's a lot of sodium in it, so if I eat like a normal American, I'll have too much sodium in my diet already. Cutting the broth would help. However, that's not something I have to do now! I get nearly no sodium except for the chicken broth cubes. I have purified water, now, so it will taste better!

I only slept for 7 hours, today. I figured I'd sleep for 9! Today was daylight savings, too. I had all kinds of extra time. I barely knew what do to with myself! I was surprised I would sleep for only 7 hours because I had moved a bunch of things yesterday. My body felt good, today. However, my back hurt a couple times. When I sat in Eddie's chair and when I sat in the chair at The Rock. Neither of those chairs are that comfortable. I think they make me have bad posture, too. I pray God takes away this back pain. Hopefully, by fasting, my body is eating away the damages cells and leaving me with a healthy body. We'll see soon!

I'm really glad I'm on this fast! This may sound weird, but it gives me something to do! Sometimes, I get bored with things. I feel like I need a change or a new challenge. This has definitely been a challenge. Every day I have to fight off the urge to eat. I'm certain I will not eat until the fast is over, but I'm still tempted. Today, I dreamt about eating a taco from Jack N The Box. It was a daydream. I also opened a can of peanuts, just to smell them. Yummy (but fattening). I smelled Wally's burrito the other night and it was all right smelling (it wasn't from Eriberto's or Los Panchos or anything). I'm glad I'm not too shrewd about things. I have a sense of humor about my fast. My friends have helped me with this because they've made tasteful jokes. I'm thankful for their kindness and joy! Praise the Lord.

It's almost 11pm. Eddie said I could use his phone line and access the internet after 11pm. Woohoo! It's a much slower connection than cable, but it's still the internet. Sarine will be online and we'll talk. We should study God's Word, too. We love doing that.

I had a great conversation with Eddie. He knows a lot about the Catholic faith and other denominations such as Lutherans. He has attended those churches when he was younger. He helped me understand what they truly believe. I've been calling Catholics and Christians two different things. However, they could be called Catholics and Protestants (both under the Christian umbrella). It's difficult for a Protestant believer to determine and understand exactly what a Catholic person believes. From an outsider, who has read about it in books, it looks very bad. He agreed that there is some bad theology in their doctrine and he doesn't attend their churches any more. However, he says they do believe in the essential doctrines of Christianity. I think it is a serious offense to believe in Mary's sinlessness, confessing sins to a priest and adding books to the Bible. I won't judge their salvation because that is God's job. However, I wouldn't want to be in their shoes on judgement day. I beg the question, "How many wrong doctrines can you believe and still make it to Heaven?" If the answer is to simply believe in Jesus, I pose another question. "How clear a picture of the true Jesus Christ do you need to have saving faith?" These are important questions and I don't know if I'll have the answers until I die. At any rate, I pray for love and understanding when it comes to other denominations and people.

I talked to Sarine, tonight. She's great. She fasted, today, too. I'm so glad she is taking steps of faith! Praise the Lord. We had some great prayer time, online. Praise God for all the times of prayer.

Day 22:

Well, it's Day 22. Ok. Haha. It's Monday. Happy Monday!

I'm posting my fasting journals on the web, tonight. I wonder what kind of reactions I will get. I pray that they encourage others to fast! I hope they are an encouragement and a blessing to the readers. This life is an adventure and fasting makes this adventure more intense and dynamic. God is everywhere and those with the Holy Spirit will have an intimate fellowship with Him or suffer conviction. I'm thankful for the Holy Spirit's prompting. It's so real! At this point, it's obvious when I'm being convicted by the Holy Spirit. I'm glad I'm sensitive to the Lord. He is never silent.

I'm thankful that I can do work on the web. I just typed up the quotes for my ministry letter. I'm considering publishing them. I have hundreds of them (actually, I have thousands). If I could separate them into categories, I could make a very interesting book of wisdom! I wonder how I would have to cite everyone, though. For about a year, I've been citing my sources. I'm glad I can give them credit. I can remember nearly everyone who has contributed to my wise quotes. I'm thankful for them. As I was typing them, I had to stop and pray. I hadn't prayed today and I was feeling weighed down. I'm guess the heaviness came because the things I was typing are very deep and spiritual. Each one could be studied and meditated on for minutes or hours. I hope I learned everything I should. I'm always learning and passing things to others.

Eddie and I nailed our phone situation down. This was a blessing and answer to prayer. I needed God's help and intervention. Unfortunately, we both had a misunderstanding when I moved in. He figured I'd get my own line and I figured he'd let me use his answering machine. We came to a great compromise. Praise the Lord! I know He'd work things out for the best.

I'm listening to a mixed cd that I made. Right now, Robert Plant and Jimmy Page are playing/singing "When the World Was Young." Cool song! It is talking about God and how He knew us when the world was young. This is part of how I've been inspired to write a song about God, but doing it from His perspective. It almost seems wrong for me to do so. However, I'm going to go to the beach, today. I promise I'll write this poem, today! This is how I make sure I do certain things.....certain things that are difficult or things I put off. I promise myself and God that I will do them! Promises to God cannot be broken. I'll type the poem, later. It should be very interesting! Maybe I'll turn it into a song.

There's one more song on this album, then I'm going to shower and get on the internet. It's only 1:22pm, so I have plenty of time. I only got 7 hours of sleep last night. I feel great, though. I've had two glasses of water, my liquid vitamin and a glass of pineapple juice. Yum.

I hung a speaker on my wall, earlier. The stereo sounds awesome, now! I'm surprised such little speakers can make such a loud noise!

One thing that should probably be mentioned is that bowel movements take some effort. I think because I'm not eating any fiber, I have to push to excrete the waste. It makes sense, so don't worry if you're fasting and it's difficult to excrete. Some people recommend getting enemas, but there are positives and negatives associated with them. The positive aspect is that it cleans you out. The negative ones are it could remove the coating inside of your intestines and tubes, you have to get it done by a doctor (most likely), etc. I'm going to abstain from enemas unless I have some pain or problems with my bowels. So far, so good. However, there has been some liquid waste coming from them.

Moving right along.

I didn't account for the daylight savings time, so I missed the sunset! I went to Walmart, first. I still went to the beach. It was twilight and beautiful. The lights on the pier were coming on, too. Here is the poem I wrote:

God Speaks

I see you, son

As I stare from above

I'm smiling at you

Because I'm nothing but love

My hand is on you

And I hold fire to ice

I'll give you everything

Everything perfect and nice

I was here before creation

I have seen every nation

I've seen the lust and lies

And bullets piercing the skies

I must say the time is near

You must stand strong and stand tall

There's no time to fear

It was short and sweet. After I wrote the last stanza, I simply felt it was time to end the poem. It was exciting to write from God's perspective! I think that will be my challenge for this week: to write a poem. I'll offer some suggestions for how to write it. Praise God!

Day 23:

This has been a great day! First, the cable people got here at 8:45am and juiced me up. I've got cable modem and television, now! Praise the Lord. They also drilled a hole in my wall, so I have a telephone in my room. It's great to have all this done, especially because it's not even the first of the month, yet. I'm getting basic cable, so I don't have a lot of stations. I'm happy with that because I shouldn't be watching too much television.

I've been gritting my teeth a little, lately. I'm not sure why. Gritting one's teeth is a side effect of taking ecstasy and acid. I've had both of those (a long time ago), so maybe this is an effect from the burning of the fat cells that have stored those chemicals. It could also be from spiritual tension that I feel.

My finger isn't fully healed. I've decided to use some of the medicine that the doctor gave me. About a year ago, the doctor gave me some medicine to heal psoriasis (which never really goes away, under normal circumstances). This stuff just makes it go away for awhile. I had thought about it and wondered if and when I should use it. I let God heal it how He wanted to for the first 20 days. I'm feeling led to use the medicine that He provided, now. We'll see if it goes away.

Several times I've compared abstaining from to abstaining from sex. Both things are human needs, good under the right circumstances and not for me right now. Abstaining from sex and food definitely go against the fleshly desires. It's awesome to see God take care of me! He is the one who satisfies all my needs! He does it in a perfect way, too.

Things have seemed a little more intense, lately. Possibly because Satan knows that if I chose to give in to temptation, I could be devastated. From time to time, I still have an empty feeling in my stomach and a desire for food. I guess those things are to be expected.

The devotions were sent, yesterday. I'm glad I could write and send them. They reached over 5,000 people! Praise the Lord. The web is such a great, efficient way to reach people. I pray that this ministry keeps growing.

Tonight is Halloween. I'm dressing up like a flasher. It's a really easy outfit and it's a warm one, too. I'm simply wearing a trench coat and dress shoes! I wore it last year, but I was with different friends. I don't think anybody will see me that saw me last year. I wonder if anybody else will dress up. In a few minutes, I'm running some errands while wearing my costume. Hahaha. I should get some funny looks. Don't worry. I'm wearing boxers and shorts under the coat.

It's 11:09pm, now. I just got back from an incredible day! Wow, it was great. It feels like I should almost feel guilty for having so much fun! Do you know what I mean?

First, I taught my guitar lesson (after a trip to Walmart and CompUSA). Wyatt is learning quickly! I can tell he's practicing and wanting to learn, too. I'm sure the prayers of my friends have helped him. Praise God. I pray he keeps practicing and improving.

After the lesson, I went to Staci's garage for a box. My ethernet card wasn't working properly, so I needed to return it. The ethernet card is what you hook a cable modem into.

Next, I drove by the New Venture carnival. It looked like there was a lot of people there. The lights were super bright, too. Just before I got there, I was having second thoughts about going. I felt irritable, like I needed to take a drive. It worked out nicely because I went home, got the card and drove to exchange it! Frye's Electronics is in San Diego, so it took at least an hour to drive there and back.

One the trip, I had some great conversations with God. It was awesome. I didn't write down the things I was thinking, but it was still great. I listened to Caedmon's Call's first publicly released cd. It's so cool because I sing along to some songs and others simply make me think. I love road trips. There's so much time to think and sing! I do most of my meditating on God and life.

I had been praying that I could exchange my ethernet card for another one. The warranty appeared to be over. However, I had faith God could get me a new one for free. I talked to a nice man who said they'd exchange it. I was stoked! I looked for the exact card and they didn't have it! I was a little bummed, but still knew something good could happen.

The employee asked his boss if they could refund me or give me a credit and he said no! I was taken back, so I asked to speak with the boss. I had to wait for him, so I prayed as I waited. When he finally talked to me, he ended up giving me a store credit and I was able to get another ethernet card with the credit! It worked out so perfectly! Praise the Lord. He engineered it all. Thinking about God's provisions and wonder, it almost brings tears to my eyes. We serve such a big God. We have no idea what He could do and give us, if we just ask and have faith. His hands are holding what we need and they're outstretched. We simply have to think big, pray (ask) and have faith that He will provide. He does.

It was funny at Frye's because I was dressed like a flasher! It was hard to be serious and talk about talking the ethernet card back. I cracked up at this big black guy. He was working there and wearing a huge, black wig! The boss who helped me looked like a hippie! He was wearing a wig and hippie stuff like a big peace sign around his neck. There were many interesting looking people there. Lots of people saw me and laughed. I was wearing black socks and black shoes under my trench coat. It looked like I could have been naked underneath, but I was wearing shorts.

Could you believe this? At CompUSA, the door guard made me flash him! He said that I had to open my trench coat, just so he could make sure I didn't take anything. I asked him if he was sure and he said yes. So I flashed him! As he shook his head, you should have seen his eyes get big. It was funny. I don't think he was gay. If I thought he was gay, I would have told him to forget it.

Well, the wonderful day stops there, but the awesome night begins! I had felt agitated, so I wasn't going to party at Tim's house (he threw a party for our New Venture/Quest group). Suddenly, I felt really inspired to go! It was amazing. I was happy to go!

I charged up there and had a ton of fun. There was so much love there! I got there at a great time. People were already there and having fun. As I walked in, they all made a big deal about my costume! They loved it and took my picture. I thought it was cool, but I didn't know they'd all like it so much! Praise the Lord.

At the party, there were a few angels, a cheerleader, a witch, Moses, Dave, and a few other cool outfits. We listened to music and kicked back. I met some new people, too.

It was breathtaking how much love I felt. It was like a dream. I hope this doesn't sound corny. I don't really care if it does. I suppose it was Christian love, God's love, flowing through them. Everywhere I turned there were important parts of the body of Christ! It was amazing.

If our culture had taught me to cry, I'd cry right now (from joy). I wish everyone could realize that they could be complete with Christ. Of course He meets our needs through others. He also meets our needs through us meeting others' needs.

The scriptures that say we shouldn't forsake meeting with Saints of God couldn't be more true. Neglecting to be with believers in Christ would be like missing an arm or leg. It's simply can't happen if you have any way to prevent it.

I could see the lights turn on in some of their eyes. It's great to exemplify the qualities of Christ. I'll admit I'm a total sinner and saved by grace. Like Ajax and I were saying on Thursday, people like and love us because of the qualities of Christ that we have. If I didn't have those and they only saw me, they'd be sickened. It's the Lord's work through me that makes me a person that people would want to know and spend time with.

As you drive away from a location, do you pray for the people you left? I often do. If you don't, please try it! It's great to send a prayer their way. There's no substitute for prayer. Neglecting prayer would be like neglecting a relationship with your father. I know some people have had poor fathers, but imagine having a perfect, loving father. There's no good reason to neglect him. If you do, it will be detrimental to your health.

The ethernet card is working wonderfully. I'm on the web right now. I left the party around 10:30pm because I was tired - last night, I only got 5 hours of sleep. Nobody is home, so I'm listening to Switchfoot's cd really loudly.

Possibly the greatest thing about this day and my quaint life is the chance to talk to Sarine on the internet! It's great to see her online and chat. We talk about stuff, study God's Word and pray. I'm thankful for her and I'm gonna chat with her, now.

Day 24:

Today was a fine day. There were not great highs or great lows. It was basically in the middle.

I woke up, prayed for a few minutes (I should have prayed longer) and did some work on the web. I responded to some emails. I had been attacked by a person who has been harassing me. I'm not sure why this person believes like he/she does (the only name given is Korath, so I don't know if that's male or female). In time, I'm sure they'll leave me alone.

I've had some people bother me about my fast. Today, a person kept sending me emails with a line or two. It said how Jesus commanded us to tell no one if we fast. I responded and said that wasn't in the Bible. Jesus simply didn't want us fasting like the pharisees. There are many recorded public fasts in the Bible. I agree with only mentioning the fast when necessary, though.

A long time recipient of my devotions (and unbeliever/atheist/critic) sent me an instant message, today. I was online when she did this, so I responded. She rarely writes me any more. She is a high school and community college teacher, in the field of Science, so she told me her concern for my health. She hasn't researched fasting, but claims to know a little about starvation. Her doubts didn't get into my head. I'm glad I get to be a faithful Christian in front of her. I pray that she gets saved.

I've been reading a couple more books on fasting. One is called "Fasting - A Neglected Discipline," by David R. Smith. It is an old book, but informative. It's a small paperback book with 96 pages. The other book I've been reading is called "Fasting for Spiritual Breakthrough," by Dr. Elmer Towns. He's a dean at Liberty University. This book describes fasting and puts fasts into different categories. I feel that mine is a combination of most of those fasts. Nonetheless, there are some good stories of fasting and faith, so it's a good book to read for fasters.

Tonight, I drove to Bible study in Escondido. I timed it and it's about 25 miles away and a 25 minute drive. It's at Emmanuel Faith, my old church. On the way, I hit some traffic. It made me 15 minutes late. I'm glad I just sang some Creed songs and didn't get upset. I knew God was in control. It was flabbergasting how there could be so many vehicles stopped when the only problem was a few vehicles on the shoulder (not in the road)! I wish people would simply drive and not slow down to see nothing. Haha.

I arrive at E-Faith to find Bible study was canceled. There was no reason why. Ok. I drove home. It was a nice little time of driving and singing.

I just made a cup of broth. This is how I make broth - I get a cube, put it in a napkin, hit it with a hammer until it's a powder, heat some water, and mix. It's a great system. The hammer part is fun. The cube never dissolved when I stuck it in the water, so I resort to crushing it into a powder. I really like the taste of the broth (I can't compare it to many other brands because I don't know my broths). For information purposes, I'm having Wyler's, Reduced Sodium, Chicken flavor broth. 5 calories and 600mg of sodium. Good stuff. I'm not sure where I'm gonna put those 5 calories. Haha.

I just decided to go to the Grand Canyon! I'm not leaving now, of course, but I'm leaving next week. I'll take a road trip from Wednesday until Friday. The GC is only 8 hours from my house. It's an awesome place to think and seek God. I'll have many hours on the road to meditate, too! I'm excited. For many reasons, this is perfect timing. I have a little extra money, I don't have any plans those days, I'm on this fast, I'll be coaching soccer very soon, I may get weaker if I wait a week, etc. Woohoo! I'm sure God will reveal some great things to me and I'll be sure to write them. It'll be on days 31, 32 and 33 of this fast. Whew, it seems like a long time since I ate something. I'm really glad that I'm doing so well. Most of the things I've read have said I'd probably feel worse than I do. One internet site said ketosis is an awesome way of life.

Tonight, I did a Bible study on 1 Corinthians 3 and 4 with Sarine. It went really well. She's fun and smart. I'm glad we can study the Word together. I hope I keep reading and applying this knowledge. It's one thing to hear a sermon, but it's another to seek God, on your own, by reading the Bible.

I made some cds, tonight. I burned a worship cd and Caedmon's Call's Guild #3 cd for Sarine. I also made myself a Jars of Clay cd. There's nothing like having a cd burner! So much fun.

I did some busy-work with my ministry. I had an idea, tonight, about something for the ministry. I'm going to create a page called the Encouraging Song Site. This page will let people proclaim an encouraging song, author, lyrics, etc. It should be great to see what people post. There's so many things to do on my site! I wonder if people get overwhelmed when they visit. I'll add this page, soon. The International Church Directory is a hit (no pun intended). All kinds of people have been telling the world about their church. Praise the Lord. One day, maybe I'll visit one of them.

Well, it's 3:07am, so I better get some sleep. I'd like to wake up before noon, tomorrow. Nite and God bless!

Day 25:

I had a really odd dream last night. I was in the military and we were sitting in a circle (a bunch of guys). The guy next to me looked like a guy I knew in Junior High and High School. He was kind of nerdy, but I liked him anyway. Jim Anella was his name. He acted a little gay, but I never suspected that he was really gay.

Nonetheless, he was telling me about a gay experience he had with some guy. He was also making a little shrine to this guy. He had all these little blocks and letters set up where this guy was supposed to be sitting. I'm not sure why he wasn't there. The shrine was very weird, too.

I've never had a gay experience (and never wanted one). Praise the Lord. Jim's story was pretty gross and wrong. He apparently snuck up behind some guy and basically raped him. It's not something I cared to hear and I was pretty shocked. This was basically the whole dream (that I can remember). Really weird, huh?!

Over the last few days, when I've stood up quickly, I've felt light-headed. It has went away after a few seconds, though. I'll be careful, but it's not anything to worry about.

I just had a glass of water, my liquid vitamin and some pineapple juice. I'm drinking refrigerated water and juice. I don't mind the coldness; I like it.

Today, I got several calls from California Music Studios. They have found me two new guitar students (just today!). They found me one new one a couple days ago. I have a total of four, now.

It's 11:39pm and I'm home from Bible study. It was a great day! I also got to see the sunset!

The sunset was beautiful. I prayed and listened to Rebecca St. James' new album called Transform. She's really gifted and God centered. She has a song that's for her future husband and it's special. It came on right before the sun went down. I feel like I received some confirmation from God about my current relationship with Sarine. It's great to know that I'm walking where He wants. Praise God for her friendship and love. She's like a burning fire and it's almost hard to look or touch her because of her purity. I'm glad we both love God a lot. I wish that I would have been as pure as her in my previous behavior. I never thought I'd feel that way, but I do. I know I'm forgiven and God has made things great and new. Praise the Lord!

Bible study was awesome! My New Venture friends are incredible. I really love those people. God's love and joy flows through them.

We saw a movie on spiritual warfare. It was breathtaking. We saw what it may look like to see into the spiritual world. I know there is an awesome dimension that we cannot see. If we could see it, it would probably preoccupy, frighten and distract us. It's great that God is in control and He's given us the most powerful thing in the universe - Him and His Spirit! We have an incredible source of power with Jesus Christ. I'm sure this is why Christianity has never died. People of all times, ages and places have found the power in Jesus Christ that surpasses any other power. It simply wins and overcomes. It annihilates any competition. We have seen this power and so have others. It protects us, it casts out demons, it soothes and conquers. Praise the Lord for showing Himself to every generation!

I didn't have many desires to eat, today. From time to time, I think about eating a Jack In the Box taco or a hamburger or something. However, I never get close to eating them.

I went to Walmart, today. I'm always at Walmart! That place is great. I got super cold in there! I was super cold at Bible study, too! I need to dress warmer. I think the way I dressed would have been all right if I wasn't fasting (and about 15 pounds lighter than I was). However, the weather is getting colder and I'm thinner, so I need to wear more clothes. I had to put my hands in my pockets or fold my arms during Bible study. It was freezing, but the guy next to me was hot!

I'm getting to bed early, tonight. I have to wake up around 6am and teach at Santa Fe Christian. I'm teaching Physics and Math. It should be interesting! I pray that those kids are good. After the class, I'm driving to Pasadena to see Sarine! It should be a lot of fun.

Nite and God bless!

Day 26:

It's 6:44am. No, you read that right. It's 6:44am. Whew. My eyes are read and I'm ready to leave for school. I woke up at 6am, took a shower and has some water. It's a little cold in this house, but I survived.

I woke up in the middle of the night and was totally attacked by demons. I felt urged strongly to eat. When I lived at my house on Fernwood, a few months ago, I used to frequently eat in the middle of the night. I'm guessing the demons that attacked me last night were the same ones. I prayed and resisted, though. I think I woke from a dream, but I can't remember it. Psychologists say we dream a lot, every night, but only remember the dreams if we wake during REM (rapid eye movement) sleep.

I need to start teaching at 8am. I'm not sure how long it will take me to get there from my new house. I'm guessing 30 minutes because there might be some traffic. It make take a few more or less. We shall see!

I pray that I have plenty of energy, today. I went to bed early, but not early enough. I only got 4-5 hours of sleep. I always get 7-9 hours, so I'm feeling like I missed some important sleep. Hopefully, I can catch up on sleep, tonight. I'll be sleeping at Sarine's house and I know I can sleep until about 10:30am (maybe later). Woohoo! I also pray that I'm totally awake on the freeway and don't get into any accidents. I'm off! Bye for now.

Teaching at Santa Fe Christian was awesome. I really like the kids and I can tell they like me. I think we both had to acquire a test for one another. I'm surprised they aren't just like the high schoolers at Calvin Christian, but they're not. They're unique - not better or worse, just different. It's great to reach them and find how to communicate with them best. They seem to be a little more "hip" or cool, however, I can tell they want to know and respect God. I loved praying with them and joking. Everyone likes having a sub, as long as they're not too hard on them.

Ok....traffic on the way to Sarine's was absolutely horrendous. It was completely awful. It took me about 5 hours to travel about 120 miles. I got lost for a small part of that time, but most of the time was spent sitting in traffic. Los Angeles is known for it's traffic.

I was freaking out because I was making us late for Bible study. Of course, Sarine was very understanding. Praise the Lord.

It was just awful to feel all the feeling I did. I contemplated everything from driving my truck into the center divider to turning around and driving home. This is how upset I was. I know it was spiritual warfare, too. Plus, I only got 4 hours of sleep and my coping skills weren't that sharp. I was really sleepy. Thank God that episode of my life is over. I finally got here. I just felt like I was in a circle with no way out. I prayed and it helped. I sang and it helped. What probably helped the most is when I forgave myself. That sounds weird, but it's true. I was really upset at myself.

Once at Sarine's, it was serene. I got to rest and stuff. We rented a movie and watched "The Wedding Singer." Praise God for the rest. I also had some apple juice, broth and water. I was tempted to break my fast, when I was stuck in traffic and getting lost, but I persevered. Whew!

Day 27:

I slept really well and caught up on some sleep! I slept for about 11 hours! I feel so refreshed, now. I brought my sleeping bag, floor heater and pillow. She had some blankets. *Smile*

We're going to read the Bible before we start the day. It should make things go nicely. Afterwards, we're going to Six Flags Magic Mountain! They have a lot of amusement park rides. Some of them are really fast!

It's 11:48pm, now. I got home at 11pm. The trip home only took 1 hour and 15 minutes! There was no traffic and I didn't get lost. It was awesome. Praise the Lord!

Today was a great day. There was a lot of closeness with God and Sarine. Her and I began the day with a Bible study. We read and analyzed 1 Corinthians 5 and 6. It was great to be filled with the word before we did anything else.

Six Flags was awesome! We went on Goliath, Batman, Viper and Colossus. Goliath was the best! I had never been on it, because it's new. There was a moment, during Goliath (we sat in the very front), when I felt dizzy and everything seemed bright. It lasted about a second. When I got off it and the other rides, I felt like my equilibrium was off a little. It was a lot of fun! I think that I simply realized what was happening to my body because I was fasting. I'm sure I didn't damage my body or anything. It was a blast. God gave me strength to walk around the park for about 5 hours. I know it was him because I wouldn't have had the strength, otherwise.

Talking to Sarine was fun, too. We had several hours, in lines, to talk and get to know each other. We feel very comfortable together, so it's not awkward or anything. She's not very insecure and I've had many relationships, so that could be a couple reasons why we get along so well. I'm sure God's intervention and our faith are two huge factors, too.

Her and I sang some songs, as I played the guitar, before I left. Worshiping God with her was encouraging. It's awesome that God wants us to worship Him and do other things that benefit us! He's not asking us to do things that are miserable or detrimental to our health. He simply wants us to give Him glory, while improving the quality of our own lives! How much better could He be?

Singing in my truck, I had an exciting time or praising God on the way home. I listened to Delirious' new album and Jars of Clay's old album. There's nothing like seeking God and knowing Him. He is so real! Jesus is definitely God.

I'm going to bed soon, so I can get up and go to early church. It starts at 10:30am and it takes about 30-40 minutes to get there. I'm waking up around 9am. It should be a great day, again. I'm going to The Rock, in the morning, so I can go to New Venture's new service at night. In between, I'll see a movie and hang out with my parents.

Usually, I eat lunch with my parents, but I won't tomorrow. We aren't even getting lunch. It will be different, because eating lunch has been our tradition, but I'm happy I'm fasting and staying faithful to God. There's not a lot of time left! Before I know it, the fast will be over. I need to stay dedicated to God and seek Him wholeheartedly. I don't want to regret not spending enough time with Him or taking this fast seriously enough. I probably won't do another 40 day fast for awhile.

I had two glasses of grape juice; one in the afternoon, one at night. I drank a lot of water, today. It energized me at Six Flags. I weighed myself at Sarine's house and I was 157 with clothes on. I'm guessing that I would have been 151 without any clothes. In the morning, I would probably have been 148 or 149. I'm getting my scale from storage, soon. I'd like to have an accurate figure. I always weigh myself in the morning, too. Mathematically, I should have lost about 14 pounds of real weight (not water). I'm not that concerned with it. God is in control and I'm sure I'll be the way He wants me when this is over. However, I am waiting to get a belt! I don't know what size waist I will have. Haha!

Day 28:

Today was tons of fun. I woke up a little early and attended The Rock's 10:30am service. I like the night ones better, but it was still good. It seemed a little more formal and Miles didn't seem as loose as he is in the evenings. In the future, I'm looking forward to attending the evening services.

I bought a purity ring for myself and one for Sarine. Miles is doing a bunch of lessons on sexual purity. This ring is silver and will remind me of my promise to stay pure until I'm married! I'm excited to have it. This will be a fun challenge. With God's help, I can do it. I know He'll help me and be here for me, always. I just have to take His outstretched hand.

After church, I went to a movie with my Mom. We saw Almost Famous. It was about a rock band in the 70's and a journalist who traveled with them. It had a great storyline. It also inspired me to write and play music more often. I really need to be committed to learning my songs and writing new ones. It's a talent I've been given and I know that if I never get this band together I'll regret it forever (on Earth and in Heaven). I'm going to practice playing every day! This may be difficult, at first, but I'm sure I can get into the habit of it. I'm also committing myself to memorizing all the songs I've written and plan to perform. There's a couple where I don't know the words or music too well. I feel like I've been neglecting something very important. I also feel bad because Wally has been very devoted to this project and I haven't been as devoted. I've been very busy with moving, getting my new phone line set up and other things. However, I don't want to make a lot of excuses. I'm really the kind of person that simply does things and doesn't talk about them without doing them. Therefore, my behavior has made me upset at myself.

Playing guitar is really fun! It's not a chore. I'm realizing that it's demonic power that's keeping me from playing, improving and forming this band. I pray for discipline and determination to make it work. I have one of the biggest assets that many people lack. Time. I need to use it wisely and spend at least 15 minutes a day playing and memorizing my lyrics. I'm going to get my guitar right now!

I played the guitar and watched the Left Behind movie. I borrowed Sarine's copy and it was really good! It's so realistic, too.

You may or may not have heard of the series of books called Left Behind. Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins are the authors. I haven't read them, but they're very popular right now. This movie showed how the rapture could happen and some of the post-rapture events. I liked the details because they gave me something to think about. When believers are raptured, there is going to be an absence of godliness, many unmanned vehicles, hurting relatives because they've lost a loved one and don't know where they are and many more things happening. It's going to be chaotic, too. I'm thankful that I'll be raptured! I have true, saving faith. Praise the Lord. He has called me and I have answered. He's my Lord, Savior and God. I pray that none of my friends or family members are playing games and pretending to be saved. They will regret it if they are.

About halfway through the movie, I noticed a spiritual heaviness in the room. It was odd, but I could sense that the darkness was trying to creep in. I said the name of Jesus and prayed, so it went away. Darkness and light cannot be together.

I need to get some sleep because it's late and I have several things to do, tomorrow. I have to make a bunch of phone calls. I've also got to do some work and hopefully catch some waves at the beach! The surf is good and it will be getting smaller, throughout the week, so it's a great time to go.

Today, I had a glass of grape juice and pineapple juice. I also drank some broth. Over the last few days, I've been cold for hours at a time. It's been uncomfortable, too. I'm going to dress warmer and pray for the best. It's warm in my room, because I use a floor heater, but it's cold in the rest of the house. I remember reading about someone who had trouble getting warm, but I hadn't experienced it until recently. I hope and pray I don't get sick. I think I've been flirting with a cold.

Tomorrow is Monday and the beginning of a new week! Woohoo! Nite and God bless.

Oh yeah, I had a weird dream last night, but I forgot it. I remembered it when I woke up, but I had to hurry and didn't type it. I'll try and write them as soon as I can.

Day 29:

I had a dream or two last night, but all I remember is having a shopping cart full of food! Haha. I woke up and thought I really had one.

As I sit here and drink grape juice, I remember the struggle I just had in the water. Wow, there was some big surf. The water was about 58 degrees, too.

I entered the water on the north side of the pier. Within seconds, I was sucked through the pier to the south side! I felt the current, as I entered the water, but I figured I could fight it and win. I was wrong, so I went with it.

It took me a little while to paddle past the waves and get to a safe place. They were about 6 feet tall. The waves had great form, too. However, for some reason, I was one of the only people in the water. There was a lifeguard truck watching me, too. I figured there was a good reason for these things, so I limited my time in the water. Plus, the cold was sapping what little energy I had. I left the water in under an hour, but had caught several awesome waves.

There were beautiful rights and lefts. The form was great, too. The faces stayed open for a long time and I cut around and had fun!

When I left the water, I felt a little dizzy and light headed. I knew it was time for me to rest and leave the water.

Yesterday, when I saw the movie with my Mom, I was very thankful that she was supportive of my fast! In the past, she's questioned such things and met me with criticism. Praise God that she was interested and happy for me! I would have done it either way and been strengthened by God, but it feels great to have her love and support. I hope she tries fasting some day.

The Kry concert has been postponed until next Monday. I'm glad I called and got this information. I'll be staying home, tonight, and going to Costa Mesa next week.

Wally stopped by, today. It was great to see him. He was excited to hear that I'm taking my music much more seriously, now! He was also happy that I put another ad in The Reader newspaper. This time, I'm asking for a Christian bassist. I hope I get a lot of responses. It will be in the paper on Thursday. Thousands of people will see it and I'm sure lots of people will call. I pray that God brings us the perfect bassist, now. Many things are coming together and I believe this is the best time.

Tonight, I sent the devotions to about 5300 people. The devotions have to be sent 7 times, now! AOL will only allow about 800 names per message.

I'm glad I can reach so many people on the web! The devotions are fun to write, too. Every time I write them, I grow spiritually. It's almost overwhelming because I'm reading lots of powerful scriptures and praying. I'm taking some of the most powerful scriptures in the Bible and compiling them into devotions. I pray they have a positive impact on the world. I know that Jesus has done a great work through them and will continue to do so.

Before I sent the devotions, I got a TOS (Terms of Service) violation from AOL (America Online). I guess I wasn't supposed to advertize for my web site in the chat rooms (or in certain chat rooms). I broke a community action rule, so they logged me offline and made me call them for the details. Apparently, it is a serious offense and the next time I get a violation I could lose my AOL account forever! Can you believe this? I pray that never happens, however, I'm already considering alternative ways to send the devotions and post my web pages.

I have many ways to send the devotions, but I'm not sure which is the easiest way to send 5300 letters. Also, I have lots of my web pages on other servers (Tripod, Fortune City, my Dad's AOL account, etc.) It wouldn't be too much trouble to move my pages, but I should do it soon, so I can have a filler page that forwards people to the new page. I'm glad God has shown me I need to begin doing this, now. I pray for wisdom to find the best, most efficient way.

Sarine helped me with the devotions, tonight. She loves helping and looking up scriptures for me! It's great to have her input, too. It's easy for me to see things from my perspective, but to have another perspective (even a female perspective) is awesome. She finds scriptures that I may not have found and she has ideas I may not have had.

Day 30:

I had an interesting dream last night. All I can remember is I had about 4 or 5 tacos and burritos. They were filled with vegetables, too! I think I found them or bought them on the 38^th or 39^th day of my fast. These days I'm eating vegetables. However, I'm not eating tortillas (corn or flour). Perhaps this dream was showing me how I can't rush things and must wait until the proper time to break this fast. I remember being concerned about eating what I was eating and I can't remember actually eating anything in the dream. Unfortunately, that is all I remember.

I received a lot of encouraging emails, today! I'm happy that people are thankful for the devotions and not afraid to send some encouragement. Some of the emails are very brief, but I got more "thanks messages" than usual, today. Praise the Lord.

I'm supposed to be answering the youth crisis hotline, now. However, the phone never rang! It should have started 30 minutes ago. I'll have to call YDI and ask them what happened.

Tonight, I'll be teaching a guitar lesson and playing guitar with Wally! Woohoo! It should be a blast. I'll have to pack my things for my Grand Canyon trip, too, since I'm leaving tomorrow. I also have to do several errands.

Today is election day! I've been praying fervently that George W. Bush would win. I should know by tonight or tomorrow. It has been a very close race. I've been praying that Al Gore would lose, too. I can't remember ever praying so much for a presidential race. I'm pretty sure I never fasted and prayed for one. I've only been able to vote in two elections - 1992 and 1996. Bill Clinton won both years. In 1992, I voted for Ross Perot and in 1996 I voted for Bob Dole. Perot was an independent and Dole was a republican.

The "Christian candidate" is definitely Bush. His Dad won the 1988 election, incidentally. Bush believes abortion is wrong and should be eliminated or severely cut back. He also believes in many other things that Christians do, while Gore does not. I believe God will answer my prayers and he will win.

It's 1:27am. I'm watching the Presidential elections on TV. It still isn't over! This is an amazing race. Florida has to recount their ballots because the race is so close. Right now, Bush is 3,500 votes ahead of Gore, in that state. It's amazing that it has come down to this. Whoever wins this state will win the election! I've been praying a lot for Bush. I really hope he wins. I might not know until I wake up.

Today, I played guitar with Wally. We had fun and watched some of the earlier election returns. He loaned me a cd, too.

Wyatt did really well at his guitar lesson. He's learning quickly and really excited about playing. It's fun to see him becoming a better guitarist. Praise God.

Tomorrow is the big day! I'm leaving for the Grand Canyon. It will be an awesome adventure! I'll pack my things and leave around 3pm.

Click here for Days 31-40