Days 11-20

Day 11:

It's 2pm right now. I'm drinking a glass of pineapple juice with a tablespoon of vitamins in it. It had a better taste before the vitamins. Ick. Oh well. As long as I'm getting nutritionumized, I'm good (I made up that word).

Some great things happened this morning. I got called by Santa Fe Christian and will be substitute teaching, tomorrow! I enjoy it a lot.

Eddie is the Christian guy with a room to rent. I haven't seen it yet, but he's excited about showing it to me. He said he won't rent it until I see it! Praise the Lord. This was one of the big things I was fasting about. I'm tired of moving and not knowing where to live. I hope this is the right place for me. Above all else, I want God's will.

I was able to write a letter to Paul and explain to him my gifts of tongues and interpretation. It was great to solidify my thoughts and faith with words.

I'm sending my monthly newsletter, now. It is requesting donations. I pray that a lot of people give and commit to give regularly. Please God, open the door to their heart.

In a few minutes, I'm going to shower and leave. I need to see this house and do some prayer and meditating at the beach. It's going to be awesome! God always reveals great things to me when I seek Him. I'm going to sing, too. I've noticed the difference between worship music and solid Christian music. I enjoy both, but lately, I've really needed the stuff that's serious praise! I love praising God's character and being. The difference between the two types of music could be compared to eating fruits and vegetables (and other good foods) and taking a dietary supplement. Both are necessary, but eating right could ultimately replace taking vitamin supplements.

Today, I realized that incomprehensible human behavior has discouraged me. I'm not sure why. Perhaps because I really enjoy understanding things and people. I don't get discouraged by all behaviors I don't understand; some of it humors me! However, the hurtful behavior has perplexed me. Some things people do, we will never fully understand. I remember a term we used in psychology classes - "pathology". It's a vague term for a problem or disorder. I sense there is a lot of pathology in the world. Haha. Without Christ, there is nothing but pathologies.

I woke up and prayed for about 25 minutes. This was great. I needed to talk to God about a lot of things. I love His presence! It's such a blessing to be able to talk to Him anywhere and anyplace. Woohoo!

Bible study was awesome, tonight. New Venture had theirs and Jason Broome spoke. He is a gifted guy! I wrote lots of quotes from his sermon. The worship was good, but a lot of people sat or didn't sing. There is a lot of new people, so they might not understand that we are supposed to be singing. Hopefully, the worship leaders can help people come into an atmosphere of praise.

Day 12:

I had a hard time getting to sleep early. I tossed and turned for awhile. I got up and had a cup of warm broth. It helped relax me. There is sodium in the broth and a good amount, too. I remember reading a book by Sigmund Freud called, "The Interpretation of Dreams." He would write down his dreams and he would have them after eating something salty. I'm not going into his dream philosophy because it's just that. He has some earthly wisdom, but he wasn't a godly man. He centered his beliefs around sex too much and he did many drugs like cocaine. Perhaps he used the drugs to observe them, but they were still illegal (to my knowledge). Anyhow, this leads into my dreams.

Last night, I had a really interesting dream. I was somewhere and saw a bunch of wrapped Christmas gifts. I think it was at my parents house and I know it was after Christmas. They were for some friends and relatives. For some reason, I was thinking about opening them. I was reading the tags and trying to imagine what was in them (I think I did this as a child). I wanted to eat chocolate and found some - a bunch of chocolates in little red heart boxes - my Mom has given me chocolates like this before and they're really good. I ate a bunch of chocolates that I found and chewed them up. Suddenly, I remembered I was on my fast! After chewing them into a paste, I spit them out in the sink. I washed my mouth out and only swallowed once. I didn't swallow any of the chocolate, I only swallowed air and a little saliva. That's it.

I also had a dream about climbing a huge mountain. I was doing this with a friend and at the very top. It was a rock mountain - full of interesting looking rocks. I was pushing them aside and trying to make a flat surface of rocks, at the top, where we could stand. I was stuck at a certain point, but not in worry. I decided to take a multi-vitamin I had - they were one of the Shaklee ones that I have been eating from childhood - and I wondered if it would make me sick. I must have been still on my fast because they make you sick if you take them on an empty stomach.

Something really interesting happened on Tuesday. I'm only writing about it now (Friday) for a reason. I was going through some trials as I was sitting in my room. I simply felt some spiritual warfare. It was waging around me and I was just sitting in my chair. Suddenly, I heard Tyrone's voice praying for me. He was praying very passionately, too. It really encouraged me and put a smile on my face! I started praying and felt much better. I wrote Tyrone a message last night and asked him if he was praying for me on Tuesday because I had heard his voice. He said yes! He said he was feeling tried by evil spirits and remembered me. He also said that he began praying for me passionately! Wow. This is a phenomenal event and I praise God for it. It appears that I was able to hear his voice because I was in touch with the spiritual plane through my fasting. This is my explanation for the event. There could be much more to it. Praise the Lord for His ways! They're perfect and beyond comprehension. Praise Him. *Smile*

School was good, today. I taught at Santa Fe Christian. The kids were a little rowdy. I had fun with them, anyway.

I'm going to the concerts, tonight. It should be awesome! Sarine and I are going to charge to Lake Perris for the Farmer's Fair! I've never been there, so it should be an adventure. The bands begin at 7:30pm. I'm going to dress warm because I'm sure it'll be cold. Jars of Clay, Jennifer Knapp and Luna Halo will be performing. I'll probably like Jennifer the best! Her lyrics and newest album are incredible. Jars' older stuff is great. Luna's "B sides' are awesome, but they won't play most of them in concert.

While I was subbing, today, I read a lot of the Bible! It was great. I read from Daniel and Ezekiel. Those books are so rich and graphic. It was awesome to recall the story of Daniel and the lion's den. It was also cool to see how he maintained his godliness around so many pagans! It was amazing. He kept telling the kings about their future, from their dreams, and they kept promoting Daniel. Ultimately, the pagan kings would praise Daniel's God, too! It gives me hope in a world full of ungodliness. I can still stay godly and focused on the one true, God.

.....the 2^nd half of this day was not so good. It was a very "bad day" and I don't have many of those. We were late to the concerts and got terrible seats. I felt a lot of warfare and I was in a "funk" or something. It lasted for several hours. I was ok, but not joyful as usual.

God cheered me up a lot when I got home. A good Christian brother emailed me and said he had sent my ministry a donation! Praise the Lord. Timely and wonderful news.

Day 13:

It's 2:27am. I'm going to sum up what happened today, briefly. I'm tired and need to get some sleep.

We went and heard Jars of Clay, Jenn Knapp and Luna Halo, again! We got front row seats and heard all the songs! Woohoo! It was an incredible show. Praise the Lord! We really felt God's presence there. It was great to see the band up close.

Earlier in the day, we went to Family Christian Stores and met Jars of Clay and Nathan Harlowe (from Luna Halo)! It was so cool to finally meet them! They have been encouraging me for years. I was a little star-struck, but I got over it. They signed album covers for me. Dan Haseltine talked about his trip to China and Vietnam. Their extreme persecution of Christians and extreme faith impressed him a lot. Nathan remembered me from the online forum. He asked if Delirious had played "Hang On to You". Martin Smith wrote the song, gave it to Luna Halo, Luna put it on their album and Delirious decided to use it on their album! Odd situation, but great song. Delirious didn't play it in concert...and either does Luna...unfortunate for the listeners.

Sarine and I went to Mount Helix and it was beautiful. There's an incredible view. You can see for miles. It was a little cold and windy, though. We dressed warm and lasted awhile outside. God's beauty can truly be seen outdoors. It's so wonderful and simply complicated. Puts me in awe and puts me at rest. Praise God.

Great news - I liked the room with Eddie (the Christian guy in Oceanside). I gave him a deposit and it's mine! He liked me, too. It was so great! He had gotten over 80 calls about it! He showed me a huge list of names and numbers. However, he chose me! He's very nice and his rules are only these: no smoking, drinking, drugs or having girls sleep over. I can definitely oblige him. He has 3 Masters degrees in Apologetics and religious subjects and he's teaching at a Seminary. We should have fun chatting and sharpening one another. We spent quite a bit of time talking, today.

More great news - a loved one gave me some money! I won't say who or how much, but it was an awesome gift and I'm really thankful for it! Praise God.

As you can see.....today was one incredible day.

Sarine and I went to the Ocean Beach pier and sang some songs to finish the night. The waves were gently crashing. I sang some worship and original songs with her. It was a lot of fun! She's a great, godly girl, too. She's so nice and pure! I love treating her right - loving her like a friend. I'm going to continue to do so. Getting to know her is fun. She's a very spirited and joyful girl. I'm really glad we have a God-centered relationship! It's great to pray and sing worship songs with her.

It looks like I've picked up this journal writing pretty nicely. I like writing and telling stories. It's lots of fun. I know everything isn't explicitly spiritual, but it's my life. It's how I'm seeing it, now. It's how it's happening to me, now. When I'm not fasting, I look at things differently.

After I sang Psalm 139:7-18 (I put music to it), I realized something. God is the only one who never stops thinking about us! If that's not amazing.....what is?! What an awesome God we serve. Read those verses and be blessed. They're awesome.

Guess what?! I wore some black eyeliner, tonight. The lead singer from the Newsboys has been wearing some (Peter Furler). I wanted to try it and see how it looked. I ran into a couple girls I knew from New Venture and they pretended to be scared (I think they pretended). They were trying to be funny. Sarine liked it. I thought it was cool, but not something I was going to do very often (if ever). It made me look kind of serious and in a word.....dark. An interesting look, though. It's getting close to Halloween, so nobody probably thought anything of it. Heh.

I received a donation in the mail, tonight. It was a great blessing. God knows how to encourage and help me. Walking in the Spirit is like a dream. It seems like nothing can hurt me and everything is always awesome. It's like I'm plugged into a higher wattage electrical outlet than the rest of the world. It's like I'm eating spaghetti and non-fat milk and they're eating donuts.

Ok, enough analogies. My computer just crashed, but somehow I managed to save this document! I hadn't hit the save button, so I think God helped it to save. Praise the Lord.

Well, I better get some sleep. Tomorrow, there's football and the zoo! God bless.

Day 14:

Dang. I just wrote the entire dream I had and my computer froze, so I lost it. What a bummer! Well, I'll write it again. I had an odd dream last night and here it is:

I was driving my old car (Acura Integra, '93 and cherry red). I was driving down the hill by my parents' house. I used to drive this hill every day - up and down it. I was driving down the North side of the hill, but somehow it was taking me to the South side of it. An odd occurrence.

As I was driving down the hill, a black Sentra was slamming on it's breaks. I could see through it's windows there was an old man on a bike and he was in the middle of the road! He was apparently yelling at someone or something that wasn't there. Unfortunately, the Sentra nipped him and his bike, I slammed into the Sentra and a car slammed into me from behind. It was a big mess.

I wasn't hurt and the next thing I remember is that we were by the islands (two big dirt islands by my old house) and exchanging phone numbers and info. I was hoping that the man on the bike gave me correct information. There was a truck by the station wagon and Sentra and it was pumping up their tires. I guess they were trying to see if the cars were going to be able to drive away from the scene of the accident. As I walked across the street, I was wishing I would have gotten the man on the bike to write a note of guilt, so I could make sure to collect money from him. I didn't worry about it.

I thought my car was parked in the 7-11 parking lot. In this dream, 7-11 was there, but it's not there any more. I couldn't find my car any where. I looked and looked, then I woke up. Perhaps this dream had to do with contentment and searching. It was interesting.

It's 11:29pm, now. Today was quite a day. I woke up and prayed, then showered. After that I picked Sarine up and went to the San Diego Zoo! The place is awesome. There's so many different animals. God is a wonderful Creator!

We went to The Rock Church, tonight. Miles and the band was awesome. The band got us dancing and singing. Miles got us thinking and writing. Sarine liked it a lot, too. Praise the Lord.

I hammered some details out with my current roommate. This was an answer to prayer. I'm looking forward to moving into my new place. I'll move either Saturday or Sunday of next week. I'm hoping to get a couple friends' trucks to help. It may only take 2 trips if I get their help. I'm really glad that all these things are coming together. I'm seeing how God is the author of them and I should have never been anxious. He was working things for the best and doing it in His perfect timing. I'm thankful that there is a greater mind than mine in control.

I just drank a cup of broth. It was great. The last two nights, I skipped the broth. It was just late and I didn't feel like making and drinking it. I write this to show that I'm not dependent on it. I had a glass of pineapple juice a couple hours ago. I've been having 2 glasses of juices, religiously. I'm sure I could do without them, but my body is functioning very well with them. I may spend one day soon having nothing at all. I'd like to experience God's presence, for one of these 40 days, and have absolutely nothing. I haven't chosen which day, yet, but it should be soon.

I weighed 155 pounds, yesterday. If that's correct, I've lost 13 pounds. I don't doubt the scale, but here's the skinny - the low down. Under normal circumstances, my body burns about 2600 calories a day. There are 3500 calories in a pound. I'm consuming about 300 total calories a day in fruit juices, broth and breath mints. I've had to use more breath mints, lately. My breath isn't so good! Anyhow, my body may be burning calories at a slightly lower rate because it may be trying to conserve energy. Let's estimate that my body is burning 2300 calories a day (and sometimes more, due to extra exercise). After I eat 300 calories, I burn 2000 a day. Let's multiply 2000 times 13 days. 26,000. Now let's divide by 3500 calories to find how many pounds I should have lost. The number is 7.4. Therefore, I should be around 160 pounds. It's possible that I'm a bit dehydrated, but I feel fine. When a person stops eating food, they stop consuming the water that is inside of those foods. If I use the above math to figure how many pounds I will lose on this fast, I come up with....approximately 24 pounds. I'll weight about 144 pounds when I'm finished! I will need to use a belt, soon. My pants are already loose. This should be interesting. I think I'll be able to serve God better when I'm at a lower weight. I'm not overweight, now, but I will feel stronger - mentally, physically and spiritually, when I'm finished with this fast and at the weight God seems fit for me.

Earlier, I felt a little dizzy when I stood up. I stood up really fast. It was a weird rush, but expected.

I've been having small bowel movements every day or every other day. I'm certain that my body is digesting the stored fat. Whichever book I read that said I would have no bowel movements during my fast was obviously wrong. I could discern that some of the things I was reading was coming from someone who had never fasted. When learning about fasting, you can't rely on academic resources that contain no experiential information. In other words, to know about fasting, you have to do it or read about someone else's experience during their fast. This is one of the reasons why I'm writing in this journal and planning to post it on the web. People need to know that they won't die if they don't eat for weeks at a time. They need to know the truths and fallacies about the discipline of fasting. There are lots of people who don't fast and lots who spread lies about fasting; saying it will kill you or damage your body. I hope you realize that those things are from the evil one and simply not true.

If you want to know how important fasting is, here is one indication. The evil one has obviously thought it appropriate to attack the Bible reading community and try and hide the scriptural exhortation to fast. Read Matthew 17:21 in the King James Version (or Greek text). Now read it in the New International Version and Living Versions (and several others). Fasting is missing from the latter versions.

Day 15:

I woke up a couple hours ago. I prayed before my feet hit the ground. I love doing that. I took a shower, afterwards.

I was on the phone with the cable company for about a half hour. I'm only losing my cable modem service for one day, when I transfer my service to my new address! It's not costing anything to transfer the service. Praise the Lord! He is making a great and easy way for me.

I've been doing some work on the web. I just answered a critic. It's funny how the critics usually don't sign their name or use a fake name like "Korath" or something. If these people are so right in their judgement of me, why not sign it with their full name?

I'm listening to Skillet's worship cd right now! It's so encouraging! I love worship music and I really like how they sing and play. Very inspirational and groovin'.

I have a few things to do today. I'm planning on going to the beach and praying for awhile. It should be a blast. I'm so glad I have the liberty to work and pray when I choose. God has really blessed me! I'll make sure not to take advantage of my situation. There is some work I need to do on the web and send the devotions, tonight. I'll definitely do it all.

I drank a glass of grape juice about an hour ago. It was yummy and I feel energized. I need some water, too. I feel thirsty.

One "loose end" is where should I put my boxes from storage. The thing I own are barely keepables. It's stuff that maybe I should throw away, but I just can't. Like my old notes from my college courses, Christmas boxes, boxes of random pencils and papers, song books, a file box, and a few more random boxes. I'm looking into getting a shed and putting it in the back yard. In the long run (after 2-3 months of paying for storage) it will pay for itself! However, maybe there's a better way. I'll figure it all out, soon. There's no hurry, although my Dad likes me to think there is a huge hurry. It's the least of my concerns (so to speak). I have a place where I can keep the stuff (for several months). The first month of storage should be free. In the month of November, I'm sure I'll find some places for all the stuff. I could have a garage/yard sale and sell a bunch of it. It would be nice to get rid of things that I do not need. It's weird having so much junk. It's a responsibility and a burden. I really don't need it and wish I didn't have most of it. I wonder if I should sell it from the current garage. I wouldn't have to move it, if I did. I'll consider that more in the next few weeks. I'm sorry if that was the most boring paragraph you've ever read. Haha.

This afternoon, I drove to Vista for a drink. While I was driving, I noticed the freeway was stopped on the other side (heading West....I was heading East and needing to return on the West side of the freeway). Therefore, I decided to take a drive and find another way to Oceanside. I was looking for the 76 freeway. As I was cruising, I saw the Vista library, so I decided to check out some books on fasting. I couldn't find anything, but a librarian helped me. She ordered three books to the Vista library and showed me some online magazine articles on fasting. I learned that my body is going through ketosis or lipolysis. This is the process when your body burns it's own fat for fuel. What I was reading said that the body's fat is a tremendous source of energy. This is a good earthly reason for why I'm so full of energy.

The body produces ketones when ketosis takes place. Ketones are harmful to the body in high doses. Therefore, I see why the fruit juices are necessary. They flush out the ketones. Without the fruit juices, these chemicals build up and harm your body. I had three articles emailed to me from the library's computer. Unfortunately, the first article wasn't actually sent. I was going to convert it to a web document and include it with my fasting journal. It was very informative and revealed good, simple medical information. I'll try and go to the library again and email it to myself again before this fast is over.

I've been lighting some sage, lately. Sage is a plant and an incense. It smells good and inhaling it is relaxing. Some new-agers have stolen sage and called it a medicinal plant and hyped up the effects, but it's not a hallucinogen or anything. You can buy it at some grocery stores and speciality stores.

Lately, I've been tithing nice amounts of money to church and Bible study. I've felt led to do so and I've gotten a lot of money in return! Praise the Lord. I know He works in this way. I hope more people trust Him to tithe and give.

Something interesting happened today. It happened twice, too. While I was at the beach, praying, I saw a shadow by my arm. I was sitting in my truck and it startled me. I looked away and back at it. It moved and left. Quite odd. I saw this same shadow when I parked my truck in my parking place, at the end of the night, last night. It was roughly the size and shape of a softball. It startled me, again.

I've prayed a lot that my truck would never break down. I've also prayed many times that God would surround my truck with angels and nobody would break into it. I think what I saw was a glimpse of my guardian angel! There's no other good reason that I saw the same moving shadow, twice, in my truck. Plus, the fear wasn't normal. I think it was spiritual. The accounts of people seeing angels, in the Bible, ended with them trembling and quite often on their face. I'm glad I didn't see the whole angel, but just a glimpse. I think I'm more sensitive to the spiritual realm because I'm fasting.

Tonight, I had my men's accountability group. It went really well. Those guys love God and are seeking Him with me! It's fun to talk about the deep things of God and the Bible. Most of them are on the same page and pressing onward. It's interesting how we all have different personalities and interests. I'm thankful for the gift of discernment. It helps me see what people are really saying.

Tonight, we studied the gospel of John. I left at 9:30pm, because I had to finish the devotions and send them. While I was there, we read and talked about two chapters in John. It's awesome to really dissect scripture. It says so much!

The devotions were finished and sent, tonight. My computer froze twice, as I was writing them. I kept backing them up (saving them), so I didn't lose much. There is always spiritual warfare when I send them. It's incredible. The demons do not want that message sent. I'm so glad I can send it and encourage the world! This week, over 400 names were added to my list!

Day 16:

I had an interesting dream last night. I don't remember every detail, but I ate some red licorice! I ate a whole piece, then started chewing another when I realized I was still on my fast. I immediately spit it out and felt guilty. I was wondering what I should do and how God would feel about me messing up. I think I had resolved to continue the fast, anyway. That's all I remember. Of course, I didn't eat anything, it was just a dream.

I had a big glass of grape juice and my liquid vitamins a little while ago. They were fine. I also drank a full glass of water. I feel good as always.

I've been answering lots of emails. I always get a lot of mail after I send the devotions. When 4,952 people get an email, sometimes they wanna write me. I got lots of encouraging emails, today. I also got some emails from people who wanted to be removed from the devotional mailing list. I got a little persecution, like empty threats and one person telling me I shouldn't be receiving any donations from anyone. Christian servants, especially entrepreneurs, get so much persecution, even from their own camp! It's really ridiculous. People can be really fault-finding, so fault-finding, they miss the whole message and point. It's sad for them, but fortunately for me, they are only one click from being out of my life.

I'm listening to Rebecca St. James' new album. It's called Transform and it's really good. It just came out, today, but I got a pre-release copy a couple weeks ago. I burned it, today. She's a godly girl and sings about Christ and her relationship with Him. I'm being encouraged by it. I also heard Skillet's worship cd and Luna Halo's Shimmer cd, today.

I'm going to teach my guitar lesson in less than an hour. I pray that Wyatt is ready and I hope he did his homework! It will be fun. It's only a 30 minute lesson. I remember my first music lessons (they were on piano). All I can remember is playing some piano and having a fun time. I can almost see my teacher's face and the kids that were there. I can't remember much else. He'll probably be the same way. Maybe he'll be a great guitarist when he gets older. I pray that God increases his talents quickly and he learns to praise God. I'd love to teach him worship songs. The chord progressions will inevitably be from worship songs, but if he's not a Christian, I might not teach him all the words. We'll see.

Tonight, I'm going to come home and rest. I want to do some work online and watch some television. It should be relaxing. Praise the Lord.

As I was driving home from my guitar lesson, there was an awesome sunset. There were pinks and whites in the sky. I had a little day dream/vision of something. I saw myself reaching to God and receiving pearls from him and handing them to others. It was a happy scene. It represented how God gives me wisdom and knowledge and I pass it to others! Praise God for what He gives. Sometimes I feel like I'm treading so much ground I don't have enough time to stop and soak in everything. I pray that I can learn lessons for today before I pass on the knowledge. I'm imagining that all teachers and preachers feel the same way. As soon as we learn something, we want to share it, but we want to make sure we fully learn it, too.

Sometimes I see visions of snakes when I think of false teachers or the Mormon church. It's an interesting picture. I see a pit of lots of slithering snakes. They are all wrapped around each other and hissing, occasionally. Perhaps I see this because of their deception and Satan's deception, as a snake, in the garden. I also see visions as I listen to music. Different noises are actually seen. When I hear certain sounds, I'll picture different ways that the sound can be made (besides the obvious way). I just thought I'd share these oddities.

It appears that my rear end has forgotten which way the liquids are supposed to exit my body. Yes, I've had the runs. I'm just sharing this so you know that it's a possibility if you fast for a long time. Moving right along.....

I've felt that I should write a poem from God's perspective. I have never written one. I've heard some songs that are from His perspective and they've been powerful (Third Day has one called "Just To Be With You" or something to that effect). I'll write it soon!

Day 17:

Whew. It's 3:01am and it has been a full day!

I woke up, prayed, did some work and had a glass of apple juice. I talked to my Dad on the web, too.

I decided to catch some waves! I had been contemplating it because the surf was peaking, today. I had a great time and caught waves for an hour! Praise the Lord. I was hoping I'd have enough strength and I did. I remember reading that I should get some exercise (in one of the fasting books). It makes sense because if a person did not, they would be really out of shape after the 40 days was finished.

The waves were 3-4 feet with occasional 5-6 footers. I was boarding on the South side of the pier. It looked better than the North side. I wore a spring suit (wet suit with short sleeves and shorts). It kept me warm enough. I can tell that my body has changed a bit, though. I felt a little faster.

Sometimes I spend 2-3 hours in the water, but I didn't want to stay in that long, today. I've had a recurring thought: I have absolutely no energy, can't move my arms and I sink to the bottom of the ocean! Really weird, huh?! I prayed for strength and didn't worry about the dream. However, I didn't want to be in the water when my strength ran out. I had some fun and came in.

When I came into the shore, I noticed there was a man still playing the guitar. I used the bathroom nearby and stopped to listen to him. I was surprised to have him ask me if I played. I said yes and he was excited to give me his electric guitar and have me play! That is pretty rare among musicians and homeless people. Usually they are attached to their instrument. Nonetheless, I played a bunch of songs and had fun. I gave him his guitar and heard him play, too.

As I was about to leave, he had me play again! I was surprised, but being a musician and a person who wanted to witness to him, I stayed and played. When I was done, I asked if we could pray. He said ok, so I prayed and in my prayer and I talked about Jesus being our salvation. I had my hand on him, too. When I finished, I asked him if he was saved through Jesus. He began speaking all kinds of gibberish and nonsense. It was odd. He apparently wasn't. Usually I'm more direct with my speech and thoughts and I could have pressed him and raised my voice until I gave him the whole gospel and led him to a definite answer about Jesus. However, I felt like it wasn't going anywhere and I should leave. It was unfortunate, in a way. I wish I would have prayed more and let God lift me up to continue speaking His truth. I went to my truck and as I drove by him, I gave him a Bible that I had written in for him. I pray he reads it and accepts Christ.

I watched some baseball, tonight. It was a very good game. I also watched Dawson's Creek. It was cool to see those kids in their senior year of high school. It reminded me of mine, somewhat. They are all thinking about the future. Of course, I think I was much more laid back! I simply applied to San Diego State University, was accepted, and attended there for five years and earned a Bachelor's degree. I could see the different personalities and their attitudes toward school, parents, parties, college, etc. It was cool. I love kids and look forward to teaching more high school classes.

Tonight, I went to Wally's house and hooked up his phone line. He wanted one in his room, so I did the wiring. It was fun! I like doing stuff like that. Plus, I owed him a favor. He is going to help me move on Saturday. I'm really excited about this move! I know it's going to be an awesome, awesome place for me! One word came to mind when I was looking in the bathroom and around the house - Sanctuary. Woohoo!

I called my Mom, tonight. She wasn't there, so I talked to my Dad. I want to see her soon, before I get really skinny and she worries and bothers me about my fast. She understands what I'm doing, but she doesn't totally understand. My Dad has been supportive (in his own way). I'm glad he's not ragging me or attacking me. He knows fasting is good and he probably figures that this is something God is wanting me to do. My Dad has seen me do a lot of really interesting things. I'm probably like an interesting novel to him. In a way, he has been able to live vicariously through me and see lots and lots of cool stuff because I tell him what I'm doing.

I did a whole bunch of laundry, today. There's really no point in mentioning that. Sorry.

The runs are gone. Yeehaw!

Tonight, I had an awesome idea for internet ministry. I could go into chat rooms and type my web site. I must have given my site to thousands of people in the chat rooms! Sarine helped, too. I simply pasted "http://www.jesuschristsavesministries.com" into the room and left. My site logged about 10 hits while we were doing it. I know it's a very small percentage, but it was something! I also got 3 instant messages from people in the gay rooms. There were a ton of rooms created with gay names. I witnessed to one guy for over an hour.

I couldn't believe how he could say he was a "gay man of God." I told him that phrase was an oxymoron! He tried to defend his homosexuality by basically talking in circles. He said it was an abomination, not a sin. Wow, I hadn't heard that one. I looked up abomination (from Leviticus 18:22) in the Hebrew dictionary. It said it meant "morally disgusting." I asked him if he thought God wanted him to do something morally disgusting and he said no. I planted a lot of seeds in his mind and he pecked away at mine, but didn't budge me. It was amazing how he kept calling me gay and saying that I was looking for a sign from the Holy Spirit about being gay. It made no sense, but I feel the demons around this sin and know they are very evil and mischievous. I hate Satan and I hate sin! I always will. I know exactly where I should stand with Christ. It's peculiar, but I suppose if I had a weakness in my spiritual armor and didn't know where Christ stood on homosexuality, I wouldn't know either. I suppose if I misunderstood the scriptures or didn't fully believe them, I would be confused. However, I know the scriptures, even the original ones, and I know what God wants! Praise the Lord! He is not the author of confusion, but the author of order.

I think that's it from me. I had some pineapple juice, tonight. I'm gonna skip my broth. I'm too tired and don't feel like drinking it.

I didn't go to Bible study, tonight. I didn't want to go for several reasons. I was watching baseball and I go to several other Bible studies and church functions. I must admit that part of the reason why I didn't go to the study is because our teacher is still talking about tongues. I don't feel he has an accurate idea of what God's Word says on the topic. I love the guy, but he's not teaching the truth. I'm under the impression that he threw up last week, after the teaching, because the Holy Spirit was trying to speak to him about this issue and the false teaching. It's considered a "non-essential" doctrine, but it's still an important one. Please keep this man in prayer. He's a great guy and a gifted teacher.

Day 18:

Okay, I had some weird dreams last night! I can remember at least two....or maybe they are two parts of one dream. At any rate, there's what happened.

First, I was cleaning out my room and there was tons of food in it! I had hoarded all kind of food, including chocolate donuts, cookies and much more. Well, I ate some of a chocolate donut. I swallowed it and felt kind of convicted and mischievous. This act felt so real! I thought I had really eaten this. I'm so glad it was just a dream!

My other dream was even more odd. I was trying to get somewhere and I think it was like a church trip. The bus was going to be leaving, soon, so I was packing things into a rented sports car. It was a convertible and really nice, but not very roomy. I had a girl with me, too. I was at my parents' house in El Cajon and was probably going to Shadow Mountain. This is my home church, where I attended for the first 20 years of my life or so.

Here's where the weird stuff starts happening. I'm looking for the keyhole for the trunk and I can't find it. I take a shovel and start digging around, looking for it! I dig an enormous hole and find a snake in it. It's a large snake, too. I'm not really afraid of it. I finally find the keyhole, too. I walk to my parents' door and tell them about the snake. Meanwhile, a little reptile shows it's head and begins running around! This thing looked like a miniature Tyrannosaurus Rex. It had a head with teeth, four legs and it kind of ran around. Very odd.

I decided to try and kill it. I found a hatchet inside the house and threw it at the beast. It looked like I hit it, but it didn't die. I found other objects and threw them at the best, too, but it kept running around. This is all I remember.

I had a friend at church, tonight, give me an interpretation of the dream. It was quite interesting. He said that the little beast represents the flesh that won't die. The car and trip represent me trying to get away from sin. I think he's right. Thanks Ajax.

Right now, I'm downloading three episodes of Seinfeld! I have a web-based file sharing program called scour.com. It finds movies and shows and downloads them. I'm going to put 8 of the Seinfeld episodes on a cd. That show is so funny! It's great and not a dirty show. Praise the Lord. Jerry Seinfeld is a really gifted comedian. His friends are hilarious and weird, too.

Today was a great day. I did lots of things. Among them were meeting Eddie, giving him rent and the rest of my deposit and moving my book case into the new place. It was quick, easy and painless. I'm really thankful that God provided such a great place and the money to get it.

I just made some broth. Where was I........

It was great to put my book case in the living room and work out some of the details of our living arrangement. I think it's going to be really fun living there! Praise the Lord.

I'm planning on selling some of my stuff in a garage sale. What I don't sell, I'll keep in our current garage (we're sharing a one car garage) and I may get a shed for the back yard. If I got a big one, I could keep everything. However, I really don't need everything. I have a lot of stuff. We'll see what happens. I'm sure it will all work for the best.

Bible study was really good, tonight. I felt God's presence there in the worship and message. Praise God for the chance to be filled with His Spirit. It was great to socialize with the believers, too. I'm very thankful that so many of them love God. I pray that we continue to grow in our faith. Many of them asked about my fast and ministry. They were very encouraging to me, too. I tend to be an outsider because I tend to be very independent. It must be odd to be friends with someone like me. I definitely need my friends, but I know that I need God the most and can be content with Him for good periods of time. I'm thankful for everything He has given me. I pray that I can love my friends deeply.

Tonight, I was tempted a lot to eat. It wasn't very pleasant. I hadn't experienced temptation like that in awhile. Of course, I'm not going to eat until the fast is over. I'm considering having fruits and vegetables on the last two days of the fast. I think I felt such temptation because I was basically wasting time and watching television.

In the past, I've had some addictions to television. I used to tape hours of shows every week. I realized I was bound by the "one-eyed evil prophet" and I broke free. Now I may or may not tape a show or two per week, but there is nothing that I absolutely must see. There are shows that I'm strongly pulled towards, though. It's a weird phenomena. I'm convicted right now because I spent so much time watching television, tonight. I need to turn the tv off and do other stuff. It's true that I need some relaxation time; I don't have to be working instead of watching tv. However, there are more productive ways I can spend my free time. I'm glad I'm realizing this.

I could chat with a friend, play a game, take a drive, go to the beach, play the guitar, sing some songs, etc. It's not easy to think of things to do (at this moment). I'll only be getting basic cable at my new place. This will help me limit my time watching tv. However, there is something on, even basic cable, every minute of the night. I've found ways to occupy myself by watching tv.

I don't have a solid solution that will pull me out of this because basically between 10:30 and 3am, I do whatever I please. I usually have the tv on in the background. I'm noticing that it isn't making me happy to have the tv on! I thought it was, but I'm happy with it off! Wow.

When people are laughing on tv, and I'm not paying attention to it, it's actually making me unhappy. It's also a distraction to me. Here's the solution - I'll have to turn the tv off when I'm not watching it. I enjoy music a lot and only listen to Christian music, so I'll have to get into the habit of listening to it with the tv off! I pray God helps me here. I know God wants me to have joy and great things. Spending too much time watching tv or letting it distract me isn't in God's will. Praise God for this revelation.

It can be difficult when you have your own business. I set my own hours and I work when I want to work. I'm thankful for all the discipline I have and I pray that God keeps giving it to me. Today, I was thinking how I decided I didn't want to be a pastor (for several reasons). I made this decision several years ago. However, I was realizing how pastors sometimes make errors in their sermons and they go unnoticed. I'm actually under much more scrutiny because my devotions are typed and archived on the web. I must be perfect in my interpretation and everything having to do with God's Word. I pray that I am. With God's help can I do this ministry without a mistake. I'm only human and I'm sure I'll make mistakes, personally, but I never want to stretch the scriptures or misinterpret them. To my knowledge, I have been faithful and true. I've never had tons of emails saying that something I said was wrong. I'm thankful for this. I try and be meticulous in my speech and handling of the scriptures. When you're teaching people what God is saying, you don't want to make any mistakes.

It's just ironic that part of the reason why I didn't want to be a pastor is I thought that the personal discipline would be too rigorously investigated, without any grace or understanding. Now I have over 5,000 people who receive my devotions. Them and mainly myself are my critics. Very ironic. Haha.

My tongue has had a film on it when I wake up. It's been there every day for the last week or so. I read somewhere that it was supposed to develop. It goes away when I wash my mouth out and brush my teeth. I'm sure it doesn't improve my breath. If you're fasting for a long time, don't worry if you get that film. I'd definitely get some breath mints, though. They will come in handy throughout the day.

Today, I was a little sore from catching waves. Mostly my lower back. I hadn't used those muscles for a few weeks, so that's probably why. Plus, I injured my lower back when I was in 8^th grade. It gets sore from time to time. This is one thing I have been praying for God to remove. It's just a little uncomfortable, but I know He could heal me completely! I hope he does.

Speaking of healing, my finger is almost totally healed! This is a miracle. It wasn't healing for a very long time. Ordinary cuts, like the way this one looks, take about 4-5 days to heal. This has been a scab for months. It appears to be at the very end of the healing stage. I'll write more when it's completely healed.

I believe my skin was a little more susceptible to sunburn. Yesterday, I forgot to wear sunscreen. I didn't get too burnt, but I'm a little red. I was in the water for an hour and with the homeless guy for about an hour (maybe a little less). I remember reading somewhere that you get burned easier on long fasts. I'm recommending the application of sunscreen.

It's exactly 3am, now. I have two more nights in this apartment. Woohoo! I can hardly wait.

I can't think of much else to say. Nothing really seems interesting right now. Wait....sleep does! Nite and God bless. I wonder if I'll dream about something, again.

Day 19:

Guess what. I had another dream. It had to do with war. Let me try and remember it. I woke up and slept for a couple more hours, so I might not remember it all. I remember that I got shot and I was hiding behind a car. My adrenaline was pumping and my heart was beating quickly. I had a gun, too.

There was an evil man in a building. He resembled Saddam Hussein. Behind me was a forest and there were some people in it, taking refuge. I can't remember a whole lot of details. I guess that's about it. It was intense, though.

I prayed when I woke up. I like getting into the habit of praying. There seems to be some extra warfare when I pray. Perhaps it is because the devil knows that my prayers will have extra power when I'm fasting. I'm getting distracted a little easier than other times. Nonetheless, I said a bunch of prayers. I find myself sending up prayers all the time, on various issues, because I want to make the most of this time of fasting. If God is going to hear my prayers better, I want to pray about all I can.

I've been doing some work on the web, today. It has been fun. I've answered emails, done chat room ministry and talked to a couple people. I've also made some phone calls.

I'm feeling led to finish my Master's degree! I may pursue it at Bethel Seminary in San Diego. It is the best one near me. The next best would be Talbot Seminary. However, that school is in Biola, California and 72 miles away. That's a long drive for me. Bethel is about 45 minutes from my new house and 20 minutes from where I'll be coaching soccer. Hopefully, I can get accepted and matriculated and begin classes in January! I'd also love to have my 27 units of seminary work transferred to the new school. I pray it all works. I know it's in God's hands. I'm thankful for the several months I didn't go to school. I was getting burned out! However, now it would be nice to grow in an academic setting and further my education.

I'm going to get a haircut and move some things into my new place, today. Woohoo! Haha. It should be fun. I'm glad it's Friday.

I just overcame and I have to write about it! It's 10:25pm. I turned off the tv, so I could continue listening to Christian music! Wow, the good feeling is still here. Praise the Lord! I'd listen to the music much louder, but my roommate is trying to sleep. Woohoo! It may seem like a subtle thing or a silly distraction, but it robs me and I'm glad it's off.

I'm planning to see Sarine next week. We want to go to Magic Mountain! There are lots of great rides there. It's an amusement park in the Six Flag's family. Woohoo!

Bible study was great, tonight. Tyrone led it. We had about 15 people in his living room. It was great to discover more about God and the scriptures. God is so big and awesome. It will take a lifetime to find Him.

I'm really glad my fast is going so well. It's definitely God's grace and mercy that has helped me continue. I could be in a lot of pain, clutching a carne asada burrito. I'm realizing I have a lot of self-control, determination and perseverance. I'm not starving and I will keep my word to God. I will continue this fast until the 40 days is over. It's amazing to think it's almost ½ over. It seems like it just started and it seems like there is a long way to go. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but it's how I feel.

I'm really thankful for all the friends and prayers. I know God is lifting me up. There is no way I could have done this in my own strength. There was one time when I actually failed in my fast! I don't like to talk about it or think about it. It was about 9 months ago and I wanted to fast for a whole week with only water. I only lasted about a day and a half. I'm not sure exactly what the cause was for my headaches and spiritual warfare. I felt totally miserable and was lying on my bed, holding my head. Perhaps it was caffeine withdrawal (I can't remember if I had quit drinking caffeine at that time), ketones in my body, an improper way of beginning the fast, God not ordaining the fast, etc. I'll have to ask God what happened when I see Him in Heaven. At any rate, this fast is going much better and I must be determined, now, to complete it at all costs. Sometimes I think things like.....even if......someone gives me free food, I won't eat it. Even if.....my parents take me out to lunch, I won't eat.....even if my roommates offer me food, I won't eat.....even if I see my favorite food right in front of me, I won't eat. I think it's good to have thoughts like that (in many areas of life). I'm getting prepared for more serious warfare that lies ahead. The last couple days I've felt the desire to eat. I think it was from celebration, too. It's odd how many reasons we have for eating. It's kind of like smoking. People smoke to....stimulate their brain, wake up, relax, after a meal, when a tragedy happens, to celebrate, with alcohol, after a meal, etc. This is one reason why it can be very hard to break the habit of smoking.

Eating is the same way. We eat when we're sad, when we're excited, nervous, celebrating, bored, watching tv, staying up late, replenishing our bodies, etc. I'm noticing the different ways my desire to eat is stimulated. I feel very led to stop using the phrase "I'm hungry." I don't think it's very accurate. I don't think me or any of my friends knows what it's like to be seriously hungry. Hunger happens when you are literally starving. In the same manner, I don't like hearing the phrase "I'm starving." I actually think saying the latter phrase is disrespectful to people who are actually starving. If people are honest, they will admit that they are not close to starving (most people I know). I don't want to be petty, but it is important to articulate.

Day 20:

Hey! Today was a whirlwind. I'm glad I made time for the important things, though. I prayed when I woke up - for about 20 minutes. I just finished reading my two chapters in the Bible. I'm in 1 Corinthians. Reading the Bible is exciting! Paul is an awesome writer and man of God. I like how he was so strongly against sin. He sounds so right about everything.

I got an extra hour or two of sleep, today. I think I needed it because I moved a bunch of things, yesterday. My body was extra taxed. I felt really good when I finally got up. I had a dream, but I forgot it.

I boxed my things and moved them from my apartment to my new house! It took some time and energy, but I'm really glad I'm here and it's done. My new room looks great, too. Nearly everything is exactly where it should be. I don't have any extra room in here, though. It's cozy with my queen sized bed and recliner chair. I'm sitting in the chair with a blanket, now. Ahhh.

I talked to Eddie and Rich for awhile (my new roommates). They are really laid back and nice. It's a big change from my last roommate! This should be a great living experience.

Wally went home and got his guitar, so we went to the beach and played. The Oceanside harbor is only 2 miles from my house! I played rhythm and sang while he played lead guitar. We really enjoy glorifying God with our talents.

God gave me extra energy, today. I had to lift tons of heavy things like my bed, box spring, dresser, television, etc. I'm so thankful that He was faithful to me. I needed Him because there was no way I could do all this without Him. One glass of fruit juices, some water and a liquid vitamin could never have powered me to do all that I did. It's great to rely on God more. I'm realizing that I always rely on God, but sometimes I notice it more than others.

Before we left my old apartment, I prayed that nothing would fall from Wally's truck. We had to tie down the bed, dresser and frame. I was very thankful that nothing blew out of his truck! It would have been an ugly sight.

Besides moving and hanging with Wally, not a whole lot happened today. Being with Wally was fun. He's a really nice, funny, laid back friend. I've known him for about a year and a half. He's a Christian and about 31 years old. It's great to have someone with his qualities in my life. I'm glad he plays music, too!

Him and I talked about putting our band together. I know it's still an option. Just because we don't have a band already, it doesn't mean we shouldn't have one. We can always perfect our songs and learn new ones. The drummer and the bassist will come quickly and learn their parts. We had a huge response when we posted the ad in the SD Reader. When we find a place to audition these people, it would be wise to put an ad in the paper. Perhaps we should seek the bassist, next, because he/she won't need as much room as the drummer. Drums take a lot of space and are really loud. A bassist could play with Wally and I, in either of our garages. Yep, that's what we should do.

My lava lamp is really flowing right now! It looks awesome. Mesmerizing. I'm thankful for my floor heater, too. It's nice and warm in here. Well, I'm gonna get some sleep, now. God bless and talk to you later. I'm really glad my fast is half over! I love this closeness with God, but there is all kinds of food I've been wanting to eat. I repress my thoughts and urges, but they are still there. I'll be looking forward to eating on November 18^th!

Click here to read Days 21-30