2nd 40 Day Fast Journal

Days 11-20

Day 11:

Today was a fun day. I worked and went to the Del Mar Fair!

Work was fine. I did things around the house and on the web. It was nice to straighten the place up.

The Del Mar Fair was awesome! There were so many rides and things to do. I drank plenty of water, so I didn't get too tired. I was able to walk around until 11pm. This was the time the place began closing.

I've been drinking about 1 gallon of water per day. I'm realizing this because I've kept 1 gallon jugs in the refrigerator and each day one is gone (unless I drink water elsewhere). I'm sure I'm drinking so much because I'm not eating foods that have water in them. For instance, if I were eating watermelon or something, I'd be getting the extra water through fruit.

Anyhow, the rides on the fair were exciting. We went on the Zipper. This was a ride that goes in big circles, while your little car (enclosure) goes in small circles. It's hard to explain, but it's my favorite because it is the fastest and it goes upside down a lot! I tried not to spin the car a lot because I didn't wanna blackout or anything. I figured that since I hadn't had any sugars for awhile and I was fasting that maybe I would blackout.

I got dizzy and stuff, but that was about it. After a couple rides, my stomach started feeling a little upset. This is how I usually feel anyway, though, so I didn't give it much thought.

WOW, there was a lot of food here. All kinds of food. Roasted chicken, corn, Japanese, popcorn, yummy looking corn dogs, cotton candy, cinnamon pastries, french fries, steak and much more! I'm glad I didn't eat any. There was a certain dignity and strength with me because I was able to walk past everything without giving it much thought. Praise the Lord.

Before I left to the fair, I finished my 30 minutes of prayer. I just sat in my chair and prayed. It was nice to get a bunch of things off my chest. I also read the Word and worshiped for 30 minutes.

On the way home from the Del Mar Fair, we rode from the Fair to the parking area on a two tiered bus! The top was open, so we got on the top. It was a little cold, but fun. There was this one cowboy guy that kept yelling and saying funny things! He made me laugh a lot. People that are weird or abnormal crack me up. It was great to have him aboard.

I prayed for a lot of people at the fair. I saw a psychic, but didn't talk to them. They had a booth near some other booths I liked. I considered returning and asking the psychic how she gets her powers, but I forgot. It would have been interesting. I sensed a little evil from that area.

My legs were tired by the time it was 11pm. I had walked a lot. If I wasn't fasting, I'm sure I'd have some more energy. Oh well. I didn't complain or anything.

I was 167 pounds, today. I've been this weight for a few days.

Day 12:

Today, Sarine and I went to a 7^th Day Adventist Church, a wedding and her parents' house.

The church was interesting. They espoused a couple of heretical doctrines, but I wouldn't call them a cult. It was a pretty normal church. They even sang familiar songs.

The preaching was very watered down, though. The entire sermon lasted 19-20 minutes. Two stories took up the majority of that time. The preacher talked about two verses in the Bible, without giving any Greek or Hebrew words or definitions. It was pretty weak, however, it did stay with me for awhile.

I'm going to copy and paste the dreams I've had and the church experiences I'm having into this journal. I figure that they're happening while I'm fasting, so I should include them here. It will make my journal longer, but I'm having a little different insight, since I'm on my fast. They'll be interesting to read. I need to type them up. I've been gathering information in my journal (hand-written journal).

Day 13:

Today is Sunday and I went to my men's accountability group and church at The Rock!

The guys in my group are great. We shared what was going on in our lives and prayed. I love hearing about my friends and their victories and struggles. It's cool to pray for them and see God bless them.

Church was awesome. Miles preached on Psalm 119. He was talking about delighting in God and letting the Word change us. Praise God for Him and the messages he gives! He is so funny and knows the Word really well. He's challenging, too. He doesn't water down the messages. It's amazing that so many people continually attend his services! God must be doing a great work here.

The worship was awesome. One of The Rock bands blessed us with "God is Good" and many other great songs. Woohoo!

Getting spiritually fed is so awesome! There's no other food that we can't go without. Going without spiritual food will hurt our health more than going without earthly food.

The 7^th Day Adventist Church Experience:

On June 30, 2001, at 11am, I attended a service with the 7^th Day Adventist Church. Of course, the service was on Saturday. They believe that God must be worshiped on the original Sabbath.

The man at the front door was very welcoming and so was the greeter. The second guy talked to us for awhile, gave us a program and had us sign their guest book. Somehow, he knew we were visitors. I wrote my address and phone number and said I would like someone to visit me. So far, nobody has called, written or visited.

The church looked pretty normal. It was a decent sized sanctuary. They also had other rooms (that I didn't investigate). There was organ music playing and people of all ages with their families. There was stained glass in the front and rear of the church. There was a long strip from the bottom to the top of the building. It had a huge, vaulted ceiling.

I thought it was a little interesting that they had a sign saying to support General Mills in the front of the church. A long time ago, there was a little scare that General Mills has the symbol of the devil on their products. It was a hoax, though. Nonetheless, it was odd to see that and nothing else like it.

Incidentally, this church is sharing a building with another church that meets on Sunday. I'm not sure which one owns the place (or perhaps neither of them do).

It was queer that they wouldn't use the words Sunday or Saturday. They always used the word "Sabbath". Recently, I wrote one of my pastors and asked him why we worship God on Sunday. Here is what he wrote:

1. The Lord rose on the 1st day of the week (Sunday).

2. There is evidence in the NT that the early Christians meet on Sunday (Acts 20:7 and 1 Cor. 16:2).

3. The Sabbath is fulfilled in Christ. Therefore we don't observe the Sabbath. Hebrews 4:10-11

I think that the key for me is in Romans 14. There it talks about observance of days and eating and drinking. If a church wants to meet on Saturday, I have no problem. If they say that another church is not godly because they meet on Sunday I would disagree.

There were 36 pews in this church. There were about 300 people in attendance. Children were in the service and talking.

Their worship was more like a Protestant or Evangelical Christian church. They used two guitars, a bass guitar and piano. Plus, there were seven singers and a signer (for the hearing impaired). They had words on a screen and the hymns were up-tempo.

They sang "Leaning On the Everlasting Arms" (hymn #469), "I am a C" and two other songs. They were relatively well-known songs.

They knelt in prayer. Nearly everyone did this. I hadn't seen a group do this in a church service like this.

They had an offering and a brief prayer. The pastor said he appreciates the gifts. He also prayed for God to bless the gifts. Saying he appreciated the gifts seemed a little distasteful. Asking God to bless the gifts didn't make a lot of sense.

This service had a vacation Bible school video which took a good chunk of time. They also had the kids come up and sing. The video was choreographed with a Michael W. Smith song, Amazing Grace and Silent Night.

The sermon was by far the worst part of the service. Incidentally, it was taped with a tripod and handheld video recorder.

The entire sermon lasted 19 minutes. The pastor used two verses from the Bible: Philippians 4:8 and a Proverb. He told some story about him being in a boat and having to trust God. It was terrible and hardly illustrated his point.

One thing that this guy said that I didn't like was this: "if you've done your best and asked for forgiveness, you're forgiven." This doesn't seem to correlate with John's words: "If you confess your sins, God is faithful to forgive your sins and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness."

Just like the Jehovah's Witnesses, this church talked nothing of their doctrines. It is impossible to make a righteous judgment about this church by attending this one service. Therefore, we have to rely on the information provided by them and people who have compared their beliefs to the Bible. We can take what they believe and compare it to the Bible, too.

Day 14:

This was a full day! My wife and I gave a cat away and I made her a sunroof!

A few days ago, we lost the sunroof on her car. It fell off! It was going to cost about $400 to get a new one, so I decided to get a piece of plexiglass, tint it and secure locks on it, so it could be secured and removed! It was a fun project. I had plenty of energy for it, too. Praise God.

Yesterday, I got a couple new kinds of juices. In addition to the fruit juices I was drinking, I'm now including peach/white grape juice and white grape juice. I'm not drinking more juice. I'm still drinking two 12 ounce glass each day, but I've added two new kinds of juices. These are very tasty. It's amazing how good for you these drinks are. Walmart has a TON of different kinds of fruit juices. Most of them (not all) are 100% fruit juice. If you are considering a fast, make sure you get these. They are much better for you than the others. Also, if you drink vegetable juices, I'd stay away from the V8 Splash drinks. They are only 25% vegetable juice. However, regular V8 is all vegetable juice.

I went to court, today, and hear Mr. Lafayette's sentence. The judge decided to have him begin paying restitution in 60 days. I was praying for a big miracle: that he would pay it all immediately. This obviously wasn't what God wanted. I'm satisfied with what happened and I'm thankful because I know that God is doing what is best. Lafayette said he'd pay it all within a year. I hope he does!

I got to speak a few words. I told Mr. Lafayette that I hoped God had mercy and grace on him. I also mentioned that I hoped he drew closer to God during this time. It would have been awesome to give an entire sermon, but I didn't feel like it was entirely appropriate. This was a court room and they wanted to hear something that was pertinent to our suffering or this case. Nonetheless, I was happy that I could talk about God.

The court was an interesting place. It was a little drab (like most government buildings). People kept opening the door and coming in and out! I thought the judge was getting really angry until he laughed about it. Haha.

I excused myself for being casually dressed. Everyone else was nicely dressed and I had on shorts and a t-shirt. The judge didn't seem to mind and said the weather must have been nice outside. He joked and said it was something he hadn't seen today.

I was glad that court could be an enjoyable experience. I could have been miserable and angry. An evil crime was committed against me. However, God changed my heart. He let me see things in a different way. I forgive Mr. Lafayette and hoped for God's will in the situation. I hope I can always draw close to God in hard circumstances.

I was 165 pounds, today.

I read the first 8 chapters of Ecclesiastes, today. It was awesome! It was very interesting to see what Solomon (or "Koheleth) did.

I studied and taught Ecclesiastes a couple of years ago. It was awesome because I did a lot of the things Solomon did. I had God and His gifts, yet I lived in the world for a couple of years. It was a weird time because I was saved and blessed, but I was being a fool and seeking the things I needed to be seeking from God from worldly sources. How stupid, huh?!

There is some wisdom in Ecclesiastes. There is also some foolishness. This book probably describes 99% of all people. Everyone I know has tried dumb things and done wise things. Life is quite an adventure!

I was very thankful that I woke up and prayed for 30 minutes! I also read Ecclesiastes for 30 minutes when I finished my prayer time. Sunday, I had felt God telling me that I needed to prioritize these things. I was leaving them until later in the day or even the wee hours of the night. This isn't when God prefers me to seek Him.

I need to wake up and put God first! I need to pray and read His Word before I begin serving Him on the web. Service is important, but I can serve the Lord if I'm an empty vessel. God helps me and gives me strength to serve Him when I pray and read His Word. Praise the Lord that I heard His voice. He told me this while Miles was preaching at The Rock.

Day 15:

I sent the devotions, today! First, I did 30 minutes of prayers and scripture research and reading. This is how I write the devotions. I had done the other parts last night. I'm glad I could start my morning right, again.

It's amazing how I can send over 16,000 emails in such a short amount of time! The world is getting the good news! Woohoo!

After I sent the devotions, I did some other web work and made some phone calls. It was great to do my work. I love my job and I'm thankful God gave it to me. Praise the Lord.

In two days, I have to buy our tickets for Israel! I'm excited about this trip. I feel God leading me to get these tickets and go. I just don't like the idea of having to put them on a credit card. I shouldn't worry about it. I know God will provide all the money at the right time. Having some credit debt is worth going to the Holy Land! I can pay it off. I'll definitely be able to make the monthly payments. Hopefully, I can pay more and pay them off before too long! We'll see how God provides. It's going to be awesome! He always provides for His followers; even more so for His close followers. I pray that He lifts me up right now. I haven't been reconsidering this trip, but I have been only 99% positive. I called my credit card company, today, and found there was enough room for the tickets. Woohoo!!!!! This trip is going to be awesome. I pray that Sarine has a lot of fun.

Yesterday, I injured my left hand. I had a stupid accident in my house. My thumb got puffed up and swollen. I could see some broken blood vessels (read coloring just underneath the skin). Yesterday and today it was hurting a little. It's getting better, though. It's interesting how it's healing without me eating anything. I think it's actually healing quicker. My body isn't spending it's energy on digesting food. It's using it's energy to repair my thumb. I'm glad my body is still functioning like it should!

When it got hurt, I was tempted to eat. I thought it might speed up the healing. I'm really glad I didn't eat. It wasn't a temptation that I entertained very long. I just thought I'd mention it because it passed through my mind. I overcame it with Christ's power! Praise the Lord.

Our New Venture Bible study was tonight. Tyrone preached a message on divorcing the world and following God. It was very inspired and awesome. Tyrone is a gifted preacher and we're blessed to hear him. Praise God.

The worship was great, too. Dave and Pastor Kent played guitars. They played "Open the Eyes of My Heart" and some other great songs.

I weighed 164 pounds, today.

While I was in the grocery store cashing my check (yes, there is a bank in Ralph's), I noticed all the alcohol for sale. It was really sad. There are so many kinds of hard liquor, beer, wine coolers, etc. It was sickening.

By the wine, there were chocolates. I figured they were for people who were hurting their bodies with the wine. They probably wouldn't notice clogging their bodies with chocolate. Yuck, huh?! I hope people can abstain from alcohol. I know it's not good for them. It leads to alcoholism and many other problems. It's not a nutritious food, either.

I started dreaming about my future diet. I'm craving vegetables like spinach and artichokes! Isn't that, odd?! Those aren't things that I've been eating (before the fast). They are things I ate a long time ago. I really liked them, but I haven't made time for them. I'm going to make a list of food items I want to eat when I'm done with this fast.

I worshiped God for 30 minutes, today. I sang at Bible study. I've done the 30/30/30 for 15 days straight! Praise the Lord. I pray I can keep it up.

Day 16:

Today is the 4^th of July! It's Independence Day! Woohoo!

Sarine and I slept in. It was nice to catch up on some rest.

We woke up and read the Bible. Actually, I prayed while she slept for 30 more minutes. Then we read the Bible.

We read the last 4 chapters of Ecclesiastes and Proverbs chapter 4. It was some great reading! Solomon probably wrote Ecclesiastes and it is full of interesting wisdom. As I read, I thought that I should write a book like Ecclesiastes! It would be a total blast, too! I'd make sure the readers knew that this is NOT God's Word, but me having fun. I'd write about the wisdom I've found in the world. And I'd include some mistakes and where they lead. I'll have to paste it into this journal, too.

Tonight, we went to the Miles Ahead Crusade! It was incredible. The bands were great and it was a total blast. We saw hundreds of people come to Christ (probably a couple thousand). It was amazing and moving. Praise the Lord!

The fireworks show was incredible, too. It lasted a really long time and the finale was way cool. We watched it from the parking lot, so we could miss the traffic. I bet there are people still there and trying to leave the place!

I bought Alien Encounters, by Chuck Missler, at half.com, today! I've heard about this great site for buying books and things. Alien Encounters was selling for about $20 from Missler's ministry. I had ordered it for about $16 from Berean, but they can't get it now because they say it's out of stock. So, I bought it online for about $6! What a deal, huh?! God keeps hookin' me up. Praise the Lord.

I worshiped with Audio Adrenaline, tonight! They sang "Big House", "Hands and Feet", "Get Down" and some others. It was really great!

I weighed 163 pounds, today.

I haven't been very tempted with food. I see it here and there, but it doesn't really effect me. I know I can't have any!

Three weeks from today, Sarine and I are going to Spirit West Coast! Time sure flies! As you may know, this will be an incredible music festival. It will be on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. On Saturday night (at 12:15am), I'll be able to break this fast! I wonder what I'll break it with. Perhaps a potato or something. I'll eat some vegetables to break this fast. It is the best way to get my system back on track. I wonder if I'll be able to find a potato at 12:15am in Monterey.

Day 17:

Oh, Day 17. Let's see....what happened, today......

Oh yeah! Today was fun. I did work on the web and around the house. It was nice to go through a bunch of my emails.

A friend and the host of the Worship Xcellence conference gave Sarine and I a $10 discount on our tickets! Praise the Lord. This isn't a huge amount, but it's another one of the MANY ways God has hooked me up. All I have to do is humble myself and He lifts me up. Just like the verse says.

I woke up and had things to do! I made some solid plans to pray and read the Word, later. I always prefer doing this first, but as long as I did it a couple hours before I went to bed, this would be ok, today.

I took Sarine's car to get an oil change. We left it and bought our tickets for Israel! We're so excited! This is going to be an incredible trip! I'll have to start planning it, soon. There are so many places to see. I'll have to get some hotel ideas ready and some rental car places in mind.

Today, we got a credit card with a $1000 limit. It's a Visa and we'll save it for this trip. If we don't have a lot of money saved, we can use it for some of our expenses.

God had been prodding me to buy these tickets and make this trip happen. I haven't been afraid or anything, but I was being cautious, so I asked God a few times if He was sure He wanted us to do this now. He said "yes", so I booked the flight.

God always provides great things. All I have to do is listen to Him and step out in faith. He provides the rest. I can see that this happened, today, again. As soon as I bought the tickets in faith, He gave our nerves rest by providing a way for us to pay for $1000 of expenses that we could face on this trip! Woohoo! I pray that we can save some money, though. I hope God blesses us through donations to my ministry. I'm sure He'll give plenty.

Planning this trip to Israel (and buying the tickets) is something big. I didn't plan for this to happen on this fast. It wasn't even one of my reasons for fasting. God works in mysterious ways! Last 40 day fast, God made me aware that I should marry Sarine. This 40 day fast, He made me aware that I should go to Israel in December. How awesome?! Maybe it is my reward. Who knows how God rewards and takes away. It's all up to Him. All I know is I don't deserve these awesome blessings. I don't deserve anything at all. To Him be the glory!

I bought a couple new cds, today! Circadian Rhythm and Big Tent Revival's live, compilation album! I haven't heard Big Tent's album, yet, but I'm sure it's good. I've been busy and just heard Circadian's album a couple of times. It's great! They play a worship song that we sing at church and it's called "Hungry For You." I had written a note to find that song and learn it on the guitar! Finding this album was something that God put on my heart a week or so ago. Their song on the Simply Survival Sampler cd is simply amazing! I had to get hear their album. I'm glad I got it. They sound a little like U2 and Delirious.

Tonight, Sarine and I read from the book of Job. We read chapters 18-21. It's an awesome book. It's incredible to see how Job's friends blamed him for all of his problems. They "knew" that God was judging him for his sin. Job admitted that he was definitely a sinner, but he didn't do anything specifically to deserve this awful punishment.

There are many thoughts you could draw from the book of Job. Did all three of his friends question and judge him at once? Why didn't Job talk about his specific, daily schedule and tell them how he is relatively faultless? Did Job deserve what he got because we are all sinners and don't deserve anything?

As you can see, there are many thought provoking questions that come to mind. We are looking forward to the last few chapters where God speaks to Job. Perhaps I'll feel inspired to write a song about them.

I was thinking about my song writing and playing. As much as I love making music and writing songs, it's almost smarter to write web pages and upload them. Tens of thousands of people see my web pages. Only a handful of people ever hear my music. If I want to reach people, I better use the medium that God has provided for me. It's not music. At least not now. It's the internet. This is interesting because I'm just one part of the body of Christ. Let's say I'm a foot. I can't whine and envy the hand. Let's say the hand is the leader or a Christian rock band. I just have to be content with my role and my medium. It's what God has given me.

I think everyone has been given a medium for ministry. What is yours? We should use the medium we are given to the best of our abilities. We can't worry or complain about our medium or envy others'. We have to march on. Praise the Lord.

I did my 30/30/30, today. Woohoo!

I was 163 pounds.

Oh yeah, I had a weird dream last night! I dreamt that I ate a cherry! I opened a little refrigerator and it had a bag of red cherries in it. I took one out and put it in my mouth. I spit out the pit and didn't eat the stem. I swallowed it and almost put another in my mouth when I realized what I had done! I was really upset. I began coughing and tried to cough it up. I couldn't, so I stuck my finger in my throat and pulled it out! How weird, huh?!

This dream seemed totally real! I'm really glad it wasn't, though. I haven't eaten anything for 17 days and I have 23 more to go!

I had a few urges for food, today. I'm not sure why I had more urges today than usual. Perhaps it was the television I was watching. I wanted to eat when Friends was on. Don't ask me why. Perhaps it was because I was nervous or liked the way they interacted. Or maybe I noticed them eating.

Nite and God bless!

Day 18:

Today was an exciting day. I did a lot of things.

I began with some prayer. I read my Bible in the afternoon. I did 30 minutes of each. Today, I read Proverb 6 and all 5 chapters in 1 John! 1 John was an awesome book, but I had to think about many of the things in it. They are not as clear as Paul's writings or the gospels. I don't think John was a great or articulate writer. Sorry John. Nonetheless, I enjoyed what it said about love. Praise God.

The maintenance guy came and fixed some things. He gave us a new garbage disposal, unclogged the bathroom sink and helped me kill a ton of ants on the back patio. He spent about 3 hours here! I think he's the only maintenance worker on the premises, so it was great to have him fixing our things. Praise the Lord.

I was 161 pounds, today.

Tonight, I'm using Sarine's computer to ministry on the web. I'm doing this at the same time my computer ministers! We are in different AOL chat rooms. I'll gather the names for the devotions from the people who IM me. Plus, I know the web page will receive more hits! Praise the Lord that we can reach more people.

Sarine and I went to the Harvest Crusade, tonight. It was awesome. Delirious performed and they were really incredible! They played a bunch of songs like, "Deeper", "God, You Are My God", "Not Ashamed" and many more. It was a great introduction to Greg Laurie's sermon.

Greg gave a good sermon. I liked Miles' better, but he was still good.

I'm not sure how many people came forward, but there were a lot! Over the previous two nights, 3,000 people came forward! It's amazing how God touches these people and how they respond. Praise the Lord. We'll return tomorrow night and see it again! It's a free crusade, but it's $8 to park.

It was moving to see all of the people accept Christ. I stood in awe of God's work, again. Over this 5 day period of crusades, there should be about 10,000 people accepting Christ! I hope this makes Southern California a better place. I hope it helps them, too! I pray they glorify God with their salvation.

Day 19:

I had an interesting dream last night. I simply dreamt that I had plenty of money. I looked in my wallet and saw lots of cash and checks from work and donators! It was awesome. I felt happy and peaceful because God had provided for me. This is all I remember.

I weighed 160.5, today.

I just found a local, Catholic Church that Sarine and I can investigate. We will be attending their 10am mass, tomorrow. This is a pretty awesome time. We are getting to see how other religions work. I'm on an extended fast, so I'm seeing things differently. I have increased discernment. It will be very interesting to see what happens in this "Parish". I pray we have boldness and courage. I'll take good notes and post them.

Today, I decided to stay home instead of going to the Harvest Crusade. I was really tired and needed to do a lot of work. It was great to stay home.

I spent about an hour and a half reading God's Word, the newspaper and doing a Bible study on Revelation! It was a great time. I read Proverb 7 and Revelation 17, 18 and 19.

I fixed about 30 pictures from Israel. Some old server decided to take them down! It was really weird and unfair. Nonetheless, I took put them on AOL's server and I'm sure they will stay there for a very long time. I had to fix the links and upload the pictures and files. It took a little time, but I'm happy that the world can see more of Israel, now!

I also typed the papers for the churches I visited! This took some time, too. This was actually the first bit of internet work I did, tonight. There has been some spiritual warfare that has hindered me from writing these papers. Isn't that odd?! It's hard to imagine how much God uses these things for His kingdom. People are changed and encouraged so much that the enemy discourages and distracts me from doing God's work! I hate it and when I can rise above it, I feel invincible!

I wrote and uploaded three church exploration papers. I'm calling the subject "The World Religions, Cults, Sets and Movements Explored". Tomorrow, I'll attend a Catholic service and write about it. Tuesday morning, my readership will have 4 new things to read about!

Sarine left and went to the Harvest Crusade. She also spent the night at her parents' house. This is fine because it is what she wanted. It has given me a lot of peace and quiet and time to do extra work! I'll see her when she returns, tomorrow, and we'll go to The Rock, together. She'll miss the Catholic service.

It's really warm in this house! I shut the windows and blinds. It's amazing how much heat this house keeps in. In the winter, we probably won't have to use the heat. The temperature doesn't get very cold, but this house stays very warm, too. It's amazing. Plus, I think my body might be more sensitive to the temperature. I've been sweating a little and drinking water.

I'm adding a button to my web page. It will be a "PayPal Donate" button. I pray that people use it and donate money to JCSM! It will be awesome to see what God does. I know He can do anything, so I pray He does miracles.

I did my 30/30/30, today. I prayed when I woke up and in the afternoon. I prayed for about an hour, today. I read the Bible for over 30 minutes. My worship was barely 30 minutes of singing, but I did listen to some Christian music. I worshiped in spirit and truth, but I didn't sing. I guess I wasn't in the mood to say much. Tomorrow, I'll sing a lot! I'll get to worship at The Rock!

Several people have said they were sending donations to JCSM. Unfortunately, we haven't received them. I pray that they arrive soon. I love people and I want to trust them. Sometimes God teaches me patience as I wait for donations. Sometimes He has me remind people and often they forget. I pray that people will make it a priority to remember and give.

I'm going to read some of "A Woman Rides the Beast" and fall asleep. I have to wake up early for this mass. Nite and God bless!

Day 20:

Today, I went to a Catholic parish. Parish is the word for the church. I went to a mass. Mass is the word for the service.

It was awful. It's the only service that I felt like I wanted to leave pretty badly. I took very close notes, though. I'll post them in Day 20.

I weighed 159.5, today. I've lost a total of 20 pounds (if you count my weight before I began the 2 days of vegetables). This is much more than I lost in 20 days of my previous 40 day fast. I only lost a total of 25 pounds. I'm wondering how much God will have me lose. I'm fitting into size 32 pants.

I watched a movie called Reality Bites. It was popular when I was in college, but I never saw it. I bought the soundtrack, though.

It was about a few friends who graduated college and didn't know what to do with their lives. Most of them were the artsy type. They liked music and thinking outside the box. It was a good movie because it made me think. I think outside the box a lot, too. It appears that most of society doesn't think abstractly. They do what they are told and are conventional, "practical" people. This world needs all kinds of people, so I'm not saying they are bad or anything.

I'm glad that I've had the chance to think so deeply and differently. Not only has God changed me and my thoughts, but my personality has helped facilitate my thinking.

I'm learning that being different or thinking different doesn't just mean writing poetry or songs. It's much more than that. It's thinking correctly and using your brain in a unique way.

Recently, I was considering meditation. Meditation should be defined as the mixture of thinking, prayer, worship, writing and Bible reading. I've spent quite a bit of time meditating. God always talks to me, too. It's an awesome experience.

Lately, I haven't spent a lot of time doing this. I've filled my life with work. I'm not sure why, but I have. I think it's because I've been trying to serve the Lord with all of my heart. I've been hoping that He would bless our finances through my work. Of course, I'm also hoping that many people are blessed and God is glorified.

Since I've been doing the 30/30/30, I've realized the need for meditation. The first three things are awesome and can't be replaced, however, either can meditation. I loved going to the beach and just sitting there with the radio on and a pen and paper in my hand. I need those times again.

The tricky part will be integrating my wife into those times. I need to do this for our relationship and for her spiritual growth. It will be unfortunate if having her with me changes the vibe into one that is not true meditation. I'll have to teach her and see what happens. She could enrich these times. I love thinking by myself and doing these things, though. I pray that God helps me incorporate her.

The 30/30/30 could really be a 30/30/30/30. Devoting two hours two God (not counting service) would be awesome! I'd learn so much more. In those times, God speaks to me about everything from His Word to my daily routine. He reminds me of things I need to do. He also gives me great ideas for ministry. This time can't be neglected.

Today, I read the first 6 chapters of Genesis! I'm going to read the whole book. I love how God tells us about the beginning of creation. It's so perfect and complete! He could have left out important details, but He didn't. I also read the Proverbs in chapter 8.

The Rock had an awesome service! The worship was different, but good. Once in a while, they have a gospel choir sing. This was one of those times. They got us up and movin'!

The message from Miles was on wisdom. He taught us from the Proverbs. I took a lot of notes. They'll be in my quotes in the devotions. Tomorrow night I'll send the devotions.

I prayed for 30 minutes and worshiped for 30 minutes. It was time well spent! It's great just to talk to God. Today, I realized I needed to ask God one question every time I pray. He always answers. This is a great way to be quiet and hear from God. I hope I always remember this.

I wrote about my Catholic Church experience. Here is what I found.

The Catholic Church

On July 8, 2001, at 10am, I attended a Catholic Church service. Apparently, the church is called a parish. It was in the Serra Center at the San Luis Rey Parish.

This Catholic Church was unlike any other church I've attended. I don't mean the actual building (although it was unique), but I mean the service (or mass). This is what it happened.

Even in the parking lot, my stomach turned. My heart sped up and I got a little nervous. I didn't know what to expect, however, I did read quite a bit about the history and practices of the Catholics.

As I walked to the door, a greeter gave me a full-page sized brochure for their parish. I tucked it away and entered the building. There was a nice waterfall in the lobby. I observed it, briefly, and kept walking.

This was a large building and contained a vaulted ceiling. On one wall was a huge mural of the virgin Mary. With her were several other people. Only the heads of the others were showing. The only head I recognized was "Mother" Theresa. Jesus was not present.

Inside this building, people were sitting in rows of chairs. The rows of chairs faced each other. The sign on the wall said the capacity for this room was 1400 people. It was nearly full, so I guess there was 1200 people there.

In the middle of the room, in between the two sides of people, there was a low stage. On this stage stood a two lecterns. There were also some candles and two of them were burning.

As I walked inside and sat down, a choir was singing and an organ was playing. There was one, large, projection screen above the crowd and in the middle of the room. There was a welcome message on the screen.

From my seat, I noticed a wooden cross with Jesus on it. This was in the lobby and was about 6 or 7 feet tall.

A lady began doing some announcements through the speaker system. Everyone began introducing themselves. I shook the hands of the people who were near me.

Some children began walking into the room. They wore white robes and carried the wooden cross (the one that was in the lobby). Perhaps these children are altar boys and girls. One man followed them and he carried a book over his head. When he got to the middle of the room/stage, he bowed.

After those people entered, a man in a green robe began speaking. The congregation either repeated what he said or offered a group response. Of course, I didn't know any of these responses.

Upon completion of this (liturgy), a couple hymns were sung. They put the words on the projection screen. I didn't have any objections to any of the hymns. They were all biblical and none were heretical. However, I began feeling uncomfortable and asked God for peace.

When the crowd finished singing the hymns, the man carrying the book (and wearing a tie) began reading from it. I'm not sure what he was reading, but I know it wasn't the Bible. It could have been the Apocrypha.

Everyone did the sign of the cross on their chest. I have never done this and I don't plan to because it is a Catholic sacrament. It goes from top to bottom and then from left to right. Incidentally, last night I noticed two baseball players doing this when they came up to bat. I'm assuming they were Catholic.

I got a dirty look from an older lady. She was sitting in the front row and noticed I didn't do the cross. Oh well.

People were nicely dressed. One guy was wearing shorts. I wore slacks and a collared shirt. Everyone was in this room: elderly, children, teenagers, adults, etc. A baby kept crying behind me and at one point it was difficult to hear. I'm certain that the elderly people and even some of the adults couldn't hear most of the service because they weren't sitting close enough. I saw some of them drifting off into space.

A little while later, the man with the book read from Galatians. This was refreshing. It was awesome to hear the Bible.

Speaking of the Bible, I brought mine, a notepad and pen. However, I didn't see anyone else with a Bible. Nobody. I didn't see anyone taking notes, either. I didn't even see anyone with a book of any sort (except for the guy with the book).

Standing is a big part of this service. People are constantly getting up and sitting down. It felt like a game show of sorts.

As we were standing, the white robed youths walked to the green robed guy (apparently, he's a Franciscan priest). He read from Luke; the part when the disciples were told to shake the dirt off their shoes when people or towns didn't accept them. Next, the priest gave a brief application, story and exhortation to share the gospel. Before he read, he did the sign of the cross on his chest. When he was done reading, he kissed the book, sat down and drank something.

This service was not being videotaped.

Everyone stood and a woman spoke while the congregation kept saying, "Lord, hear my prayer". Next, offering baskets were passed around. This was a little odd because there was no mention of it (to my knowledge). There was no prayer for the offering.

After the offering, everyone stood and said a bunch of things. These things were mostly incomprehensible to me. I could only decipher a profession of faith in Jesus Christ and the virgin Mary. It was odd, but not overly disturbing. It sounded like a bunch of people mumbling and talking at the same time (not quite knowing what to say or when to say it).

Suddenly, a song broke out. At a table in the middle of the room, the priest "blessed" the wine and bread. He did the sign of the cross to the juice. I'm sure the juice appreciated it.

We stood and repeated more things. The priest said something I didn't like. It was this: "may this offering make us holy and closer to salvation". Since I'm saved and going to Heaven, how much closer to salvation do I need to be? Is it supposed to be something outside my reach? It doesn't sound like this priest has eternal security.

The priest said the sacraments (wine and bread) were becoming Christ's flesh. Of course, this is a heretical doctrine. It's called the Eucharist or the Eucharistic Miracle. Priests supposedly have the power from God to turn the communion sacraments into the literal flesh of Jesus. There were several "Amen"s and "Hallelujah"s here and there. Finally, the priest took the bread, raised it over his head and said it was the lamb of God.

The white robed children ate and drank first. Next, the rows walked to the middle of the church and took the sacraments. I almost went because I wasn't sure why people were getting up. I was so used to getting up and down, I just thought I was standing for more liturgies. However, it was for communion, so I returned to my seat. Taking communion with the Catholics would have been as great an evil as taking it with the Mormons. Incidentally, I noticed people doing the sign of the cross before they took communion. Some people could go to the priest's line and he would personally give them communion.

At this point, I was thinking, "it'd be really nice to leave, now". I hadn't felt this way at any of the other churches I investigated. However, my patience must have been growing thin.

Shortly after the communion, the priest spoke and did more announcements. Everyone sang one last song (actually, some people left before the song). When the song was over, most of the people clapped and applauded! I was excited it was over, too.

I asked the man next to me a question. I said, "What is the title of the man in the green robe?" He had to think for a minute, but finally said he was a Franciscan priest. Good enough for me. I figured he was a friar or a priest.

Nobody tried to talk to me as I left. However, I noticed a statue of someone in the courtyard. I walked up to it and observed it. I couldn't tell if it was Peter or Jesus. I asked a lady nearby if she knew. She said that her and her husband have wondered for years and they think it's Jesus. I think it was Peter. Nonetheless, this person had the appearance of walking on water because he was standing in a pool and on a little plate which was built on top of the water.

My brochure flew into the pool! I went and got another. As I got another from the greeter, I noticed the priest was talking to a man. There wasn't a line to see him, so I could have spoken to him. However, I really didn't have anything to say. I wasn't interested in attending this church. I didn't want to argue or debate with him. I was still trying to process everything that just happened. Therefore, I left quietly.

The entire mass took one hour.

Well, today marks the midpoint of my fast! 20 days are finished and 20 days to go! Woohoo! It feels like I'm ½ way there. The 2^nd half should fly by. In about 2 weeks (and 3 days), Sarine and I leave for Spirit West Coast! Not only will this be an incredible, music festival, I break my fast at 12:15am, on the last night.

Like the last fast, breaking it will be bittersweet. Yes, it will be nice to eat again, however, it is awesome to abstain from food. I don't have to decide what to eat, I don't have to be concerned with regulating my food intake, I don't have to buy food, I don't have to be concerned with eating the right foods and abstaining from unhealthy ones, etc. Praise God I was able to forget about those things for 20 days (and a total of 40)!

Click here for Days 21-30.